Godfinger

Goooodfinger...bump ba naaaaaa (I'll explain later)

I was thinking it might be nice to take a break from some of the heavier content that I have posted lately, to dedicate a post to a man whom I consider a best friend, Gary Godman. Gary is going through an exciting time now with the birth of his first daughter, and it seemed like a fun time to reminisce about our long term friendship. Hopefully he won't mind ;)

I first met Gary in Kindergarten as I recall (Mrs. Merrill's class?). As a young kindergardener I cannot recall exactly how we hit it off, but I would guess it was a video game/ninja turtle based relationship at first.

As it turned out, Gary and his family lived around the corner, and so it was the perfect setting for our friendship to blossom.

The early days were filled with video games rotating between houses. He had some cooler games, so I vaguely remember being over at his house more often. On one of his visits to my house (as my mom has recalled in a previous post I believe), my mom served a lunch consisting of food to which he was allergic. I cannot recall how that affected our playtime, but I'm assuming I spent some more time at his house after that.

Some of my memories are tied more specifically to the games we played back then. I am pretty sure I still have his copy of "Turtles in Time" for SNES, borrowed no doubt long ago. That game had meaning to me, as I remember playing it with him constantly.

When I first met him we were attending First Presbyterian Church in Muskogee, but Gary and his family were going to First Methodist, and possibly through my own convincing, we swapped churches and I got to live the dream of having school, playtime and church with my buddy Gary.

I remember the preacher preaching while we played that game with dots and lines and smiley faces (the name of which I cannot recall), and tic-tac-toe on the front row. I doubt I could recall any sermon ever preached during our front row game time.

Back at school, we were both starting to notice girls during the 1st-5th grade timeframe, and I recall using Gary as my messenger to ask girls if they liked me. These messages usually consisted of a note asking quite simply, "Do you like me, circle one YES     NO     Maybe    As a Friend?"

I also remember using my uncle Jimmy LaFave's musician status to try to impress the elementary school girls who likely had no clue who he was. Gary always delivered the notes.

He may not call this his favorite memory, but my favorite instance of him being my messenger involved him getting slapped by the girl to whom my affection was directed. He was pretty peeved at the time, but as I recall later went steady with that girl for a week or so, before I broke them up with constant pestering. Sorry about that Gary... I could be pretty obnoxious.

One of my favorite character traits of Gary was his tolerance for my obnoxiousness. I'm pretty sure at times I went out of my way to irritate him, and other times the situations probably irritated him. I probably put him in quite a few awkward situations with all of my elementary school love note escapades.

In 5th grade my family moved about 20 minutes east to Ft. Gibson. I hated it. It was my first time not being around my Hilldale buddies, Gary being primary. I think he might have resented our move a little bit as well. We stayed in Ft. Gibson through the 1st day of my 6th grade year, at which point my nightly crying to go back to Muskogee finally persuaded my parents that I was much happier back at Hilldale.

In the one year I was gone, Gary had bonded better with some of our other buddies (Dayton, Rick, Ben, Daniel, and the rest of the crowd). I remember them giving me a hard time when I came back for the first few weeks before finally welcoming me back into the clique. Maybe he was still mad at me for leaving in the first place. Maybe not...Oddly I have never really revisited that time in great detail.

Sixth Grade confirmation class at First Methodist had Gary and myself at the church in classes with two other girls. Not surprisingly, I developed a crush on both of these girls, and at church camp that same year, recall stooping to having him once again deliver my "do you like me?" Notes to the girls, who rejected the attempts.

Gary and I also joined "music makers" which I believe was xylophones for the church. Gary, one of the girls, and I were the primary players, and when I liked someone in those days who didn't like me, I became quite obnoxious in an effort to show off and be "cool." I'm sure these were some of the days that irritated him most, and I recall even being kicked out of the room temporarily once due to a particularly high dose of annoying behavior.

That is the thing about Gary though. No matter how obnoxious I could be at times, he was always a true friend. He offered advice, consolation and just all around good times.

We lost touch a bit throughout the latter middle school/ early high school years, partially due to my friendship with Tyler (whom I had met in Ft. Gibson- the only person there with whom I became friends). While both were my best friends, Gary was always my oldest, best friend. Gary and I did hang out in High School band somewhat, but I also was spending a lot of time skating, so we lost touch a bit.

In 2004 when my mom's mom, Mema, passed away, I was staying in Kingfisher at her house finishing up some papers for finals week at OSU. Gary drove over to comfort me and give me a short break from the stress of a recent death and finals in the same week. I don't recall much of what we spoke about, but I remember the feeling of him being there. I think it was his first time in Kingfisher, and that town had such a strong set of emotions tied to it from my childhood that it was nice to be able to associate my childhood friend with my favorite childhood place to visit. In the midst of great sadness, Gary gave me a little time of just hanging out. That night, and subsequent nights around that same time of her death shaped much of the person I am today emotionally and spiritually. His visit on my graduation day from OSU was also a great memory.

Most recently it seems that every July 4th, Juliet and I would run into Gary and his family at the same fireworks stand near our childhood homes. The odd thing is that it is never planned. We just always have shown up at the exact same time. Sadly, this year we won't be in Oklahoma for the 4th, so unless he is wandering around Austin randomly, we probably won't get to have our random encounter. Though brief, I always found the randomness of it quite fun. It's always great to see him and Monica again.


Gary is one of the greatest people I have met. He has integrity and always puts others needs before his own. Throughout our friendship he certainly put my needs before his on countless occasions. Hopefully I have reciprocated once in awhile, though I think out of the two of us, I was probably the more selfish friend.

On this day after his daughter Adelaide Marie Godman's birth, I think back and remember all the great times we have had over the years. I remember our ongoing competitive natures, his patience, and  all of the dynamics of our long friendship.

Part of me wishes he was still close by so I could have gone to visit after the birth (perhaps a future trip to plan). Part of me knows he is happy where he is at right now, despite the distance from family and friends. I wish him the best in all of his pursuits, both intellectual, and personal. May Monica, Adelaide and Gary be blessed in this wonderful new chapter of their lives.

Gary, You've certainly made an impression on me over the years, and though we don't see each other as often (Facebook not-withstanding), I always know we have a deep seated friendship that can be called back up at a moment's notice.

I truly wish you guys the best, and am so happy for you. I know you will be a great father.

God bless you guys, and Congratulations again!

P.S. I should probably explain the title of the blog. During my early phases of enjoying James Bond movies, Gary came by and watched "Goldfinger" with me one night. I believe he continues to watch Bond movies now as well (possibly due to my introduction). As a joke, we used to run around singing the theme to "Goldfinger" but substituted his last name in place. Thus we created "Godfinger."