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Thursday, April 20, 2017

Jimmy LaFave- The Influence of a Musical Uncle

Jimmy LaFave has always been my uncle, but this picture marks a more definitive beginning of his influence on me. 

I was 8 or 9 years old, and had asked him to pose in a picture with me as proof that I had a famous uncle. I distinctly remember it being to impress a girl, and I probably had my friend Gary do the actual talking to the girl when the time came. I've always liked telling people he's my uncle, though I feel like he might play down the "famous" part in his humility.

We used to listen to Jimmy's CDs in the car growing up. I've always been a fan, and would be whether or not we were related. 

As I got older, the annual Woody Guthrie folk festival became a great event to attend, and Jimmy was always kind enough to let me and whichever friend I brought backstage to hangout.

At one particular festival, which had to have been over 15 years ago, he gave me an Intellitouch brand guitar tuner. It was when they first developed the tuners that tuned by vibration so you could tune even in a loud environment. He was a spokesman for them at the time I think, and was able to give me a free one. I still use that same tuner now (though it's in two pieces instead of one after years of use).

Christmas Eve 1999 will still go down in history as Jimmy at his funniest. I'm not sure how it all happened but with Jesse LaFave jamming some cover tunes on guitar for background noise, Jimmy grabbed the mic and began improvising humorous lyrics over the familiar tunes. There's a video somewhere I'll have to find and edit down to the greatest hits at some point. 

Jimmy's sense of humor is part of what makes his shows so fun. The banter in between songs with his band or the audience is always right on.

I never really felt comfortable asking him if I could play a song or two to open for him, or if he could help me out with my own music recording in some way. To be fair when he first heard my early stuff I'm not sure I had the caliber of musicianship to be worthy of stage time with him. I also felt it would be an unfair advantage to use the family connection, though I'm sure he would have obliged in some way. 

In college I began covering some of his songs while sitting on the street corner in Stillwater across from Willie's Saloon playing for the passers by.  I would always open my "set" with a cover of "Never Be Mine" to get things going. Later, my cover band, The Huntsmen, had a standing gig at Willie's. It was great to stand in Jimmy's footsteps for awhile. He had played the same bar during his early Stillwater days as well, and a sign with his name on it still hung on the wall all those years later.

In Austin, musically, I have stuck to the Open mic night circuit. I nearly always do at least one Jimmy cover. My favorites to play are "Vanished" and "Going Home" Nearly every time, someone in the audience will recognize the song, or have heard of Jimmy. During one open mic night in particular, there was another guy who covered "Only One Angel" in his set right after mine. Total coincidence, but it brought up a good conversation about Jimmy.

My desire to perform with him, even just once, happened this past Christmas. When no one in the audience knew all the words to Silent Night, I set my nerves aside and spoke up for the first time. He called me up and I sang the classic Christmas tune (though I chose too low of a key) side by side with the man who had a strong influence on me, but perhaps never knew the full extent of it. I could finally say I sang with Jimmy on stage. When he invited me up for the closing songs where he frequently brings up other musicians to jam on familiar tunes, I felt honored to stand beside him. This was huge for me, and I talked about it for days afterwards. I'm sure Juliet got tired of hearing me play the video of it over and over, but to met it represented being a part of something I had dreamed of for years. I got to share the stage, for a moment, with Jimmy. 

Jimmy has always been gracious of his time, and always makes time for family. I last saw him about a month ago to introduce him to our new baby girl, (his great niece) Hannah. He held her for awhile, and he seemed for a moment to forget about all of the other cares in the world. With all he had been going through, the new life in the room brought a smile to his face. I've already started her listening to Jimmy's albums during our morning music time together. In the quiet hours of the morning, I sit in the recliner and rock her, while listening to my favorite music. Jimmy comes into rotation quite often.These are the moments I remember best.

I don't know that I could say anything truly profound here, I just wanted to reminisce on my uncle. Jimmy has influenced me without perhaps ever knowing to what extent, mostly because I was afraid to tell him. My goal as a musician was always to come close to the same measure of skill and composure on stage as him. My voice even began to take on some of his raspy tone over time.
I hope to attend the show at Threadgills tomorrow  night, and I pray it won't be the last time I get to see him play live. 

Jimmy, I am truly sorry that you are going through this, but I admire your desire to let the show go on as long as it can. Thank you for the part you played in my musical influence. Thanks for always being available for family.

"If I don't see you real soon, I'll see you down the road someday."

Love you Jimmy!

Your nephew,


Sunday, November 6, 2016

Think Before You Post: A Plea to Christians

Tuesday is officially Election Day. I don't care who you vote for. I early voted and already made my choice. I care about how you treat others. I care about you respecting their right to their own opinions, no matter how much you disagree.

Christians, I hate to say it about my own brothers and sisters in Christ, but many of you have been the most hateful, antagonistic, slanderous, downright nasty people during this election season. You've disrespected those who disagree with you. You've been passive aggressive towards your neighbor, instead of loving your neighbor.

You've wished ill on other people, whom you should have been praying for. You've been so vocal with hatred towards "the other side" (whether left or right) that you've damaged the faith, and given a bad name to those Christians who took Christ's advice and loved those with whom they disagree.

Am I over-exaggerating? If what I've read on some Christians' Facebook walls, and comment sections is true, then I'm not over-exaggerating at all. Either they are in the camp of not actually being believers, or they are believers in need of some rebuke.

If you follow Christ, it doesn't matter who is in the White House after Nov 8. Christ is ruling and reigning in the Heavenly kingdom, and we are citizens of that realm as much or more, as we are of the earthly kingdoms of men.

Historically, when Christians have tried to merge these two kingdoms (kingdom of man and kingdom of God), only bloodshed and turmoil has resulted (remember the Crusades and the Inquisition?). When we put down our crosses and pick up our swords, trying to gain power, we become a religion of oppression. We must preach Christ-not the Civil Christianity so many wish to impose. 

I disagree with a lot of what the world is doing, but I take heart in the Apostle Paul's words to both Timothy and Titus on separate occasions.

To Titus, who was ministering in Crete, a worldly place if there ever was one, he said,

"1. Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:1-7)

And to Timothy he says, 
"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth." (1 Timothy 2:1-4)

Did you read that? Avoid quarreling, show perfect courtesy to others, pray for kings (leaders) in high positions (including current and future presidents). Lead peaceful and quiet life. 

Your social media posts have certainly not been peaceful or quiet as of late. You have not shown perfect courtesy to one another, but have taken to slandering those who disagree with you. Are you Christian in name only? Where is your faith in Christ? Where is your love for those around you, no matter how badly your world views may clash? I'm disappointed in the name some of you are giving Christianity. The world hates us enough already without throwing wood on the fire.

Christ is ruling and reigning, holding all things together by his power. He is sovereignly in control, and it is part of His ultimate plan that various rulers come to us for a time. If we truly delight and trust in him, what do we have to fear? 

If the economy crashes, Christ is on the throne. If more women continue to have abortions, Christ is on the throne. If illegal immigration runs rampant, Christ is on the throne. If our leaders shut out the sojourner or refugee, Christ is on the throne. If more is required to own a gun, Christ is on the throne. If we burn oil instead of cleaner energy sources, Christ is on the throne. Any issue you can name, on any side of the political fence, is of no worry to us, because our savior is on the throne. So, why are we fighting one another? Why are we trying to convince people of our opinions, when we know we would never be convinced of theirs? Just stop it. Antagonistic or passive aggressive just stop it. You're hurting the body of Christ!

"For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross." (Colossians 1:16-20)

Nobody was ever won to Christ through antagonizing. Nobody ever saw a Christian behaving like an idiot and said, "that's the religion for me."

Historically, it's been the opposite. The church division pushes people away. If we are all part of the body of Christ, how can we expect to move, when half our parts are not working, or are refusing to work as a cohesive unit? Christians do not all have to vote the same. 

Brothers and sisters PLEASE think before you post. Please remember you are talking badly about real humans, whom God may have called to a kingdom purpose at some future time. We preach Christ in love and humility, not anger and hate. That does not mean we have to agree with everything the popular culture agrees with, far from it in most cases. But, we are to be a light on a hill to a dark world. If we dim our light by our attitudes and actions, no one will see, and opportunity for relationship will be lost.

Think before you speak. Think before you act. Think before you post.

Be concerned, not fearful. Have faith, not doubt. Trust Christ in all things, and let the light of His salvation shine through you.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Confessions of a Christian Worship Leader

I lead worship music on Sunday mornings.

I hear the argument often, or maybe I notice the articles more now that they apply to me, about which type of music is best for worship.

I suppose in a general sense, any music we offer to God for His glory, not our own, could be considered worship. Yet, with our modern options, the decision becomes more often about which style of music is most suitable. We treat it as though God is looking down, saying to Himself,
"I hope they don't play that Tomlin song again," or "I hope they play Amazing Grace today."

My impression is that God is not worried about if the drums were too loud, or if the song choice didn't quite flow as intended. He's proven this to me numerous times. I can plan and plan all I want, but if God is ready to move, He will push me right along with Him. He has blessed me with a talent, and with a desire to lead His people into worship. This is my privilege, to offer back what I am able to One who gave it all for me.

Each week I choose the songs for the upcoming Sunday. I wish I could say there was a set process for this, but I tend to look for similar music keys, and songs that could flow into one another. I also like to revisit songs for which I have fond recollection. Though, if I lean too far into nostalgia, I am in danger of making the worship about what I want. If the goal of the worship leader is to lead the congregation in worship, there should be a balance of music that leads both the congregation and the leader into a similar state of worship.

Yet, there is no way to please everyone. And, why are we trying to please anyone, if our ultimate goal is to offer our praise and worship to Christ?

Admittedly, I get bogged down in wondering what the congregation wants sometimes more than I seek what Christ would want. It's those Sundays that a noticeable difference occurs. There is something off. There are people in our congregation who I can sense are put off by certain songs. It's the nature of personal preference. Songs may speak more to some than others. If I begin to focus on a an individual's experience, I am at risk of falling into concert mode, trying to please that individual more than God. It has happened, and I am aware of it in the midst, but find it hard to break out. If we honor God with our worship, He will permeate the congregation and lead them. God is the true leader of worship. The praise team is the vessel by which God chooses to manifest His majesty, as His people give him honor and praise.

The Sundays that I thought I had it all together, and perfectly planned out, God has shaken things up a bit. It's these instances that remind me that while being prepared is important, ultimately letting God take control will lead into a much deeper state of connection with our Lord.

Is there a correct style of music? The traditionalists would argue hymns over the songs of today, and the modern worshipper would want to table those dusty old hymns in favor of a more emotionally charged, intense musical experience. A "concert for Jesus" if you will.

Week after week, I find myself torn between the two. I am given a lot of freedom with music choice. Our pastor will occasionally make a suggestion, but ultimately leaves it to me. While this freedom can be nice, it can also be hindering, as I may get in my own head about song decisions.

For example, this Sunday for the second time during my tenure at this church, we are doing a traditional hymn service (my choice). It is a throwback to the old style of worship. Some might think it odd to do this. In a church that is seeking to bring in a younger demographic, and to grow in general, is it perhaps risky to play such old melodies? I truly think not. It is a tribute to those theologically marvelous tunes upon which our modern worship is grounded (however far from one another they might sound these days). We couldn't have Tomlin, Hillsong, or "insert contemporary Christian artist here" without the hymn writers.

There is a simplicity to the classic songs that is undeniable.

Honestly, this post is more to get my musings on the page, not to answer the question of which style is better. I would encourage my brothers and sisters in the faith to not ever let a personal preference create discontent within the church. There can be no meeting everyone's preferences. And, there is no need. If we can give the honor to God, letting go of the fallen tendency to people please, then by His power, all will be led into worship, and He will receive what He is due.

Contemporary, traditional, or something in between, when we sing whole heartedly to God, He is pleased. Give Him praise today!

"Sing to Him a new song, play skillfully, and shout for joy..." (Psalm 33:3)

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The Fast and the Furious- How to Watch the Series

They get progressively better-stick it out!

I'm going to stray from the normal writing a bit here, to touch on something of interest to me, having now finished the full set of "Fast and Furious" movies.

I was still in high school when the first movie came out. I remember seeing it with my friend Tyler, who was way more into cars than I was. I'm pretty sure we recognized the bad acting, and somewhat cheesy plot line at the time. All I really remember is everyone pulled out of the parking lot that night trying to peel out and show off their basic cars, in an effort to imitate the movie.

When 2 Fast 2 Furious came out, I recall seeing it more out of obligation (I don't like leaving parts of a series unseen if I've seen one). I recall being more entertained with the addition of Tyrese Diggs in the part of Roman. He added a nice layer of humor to the series.

It was after this point, though, I lost complete interest in the series.

About a year ago, in an effort to collect some digital movies, I bought the Fast and Furious bundle on iTunes (having secretly always wanted to see the newer additions). By this time, Furious 7 had been in and out of theaters, and had received fairly good reviews.

I watched FF1 and FF2 again, but stopped a few minutes into Tokyo Drift. About a  week ago, with some time on my hands, I decided to finish out the series (still skipping Tokyo Drift).

FF4 was pretty good, and re-established the flavor from the first movie. It also introduced some intriguing new characters, and a few interesting plot points. I moved on to FF5, and found it to be the best in the series up to that point. With the addition of Dwayne Johnson (the Rock)'s character, the series took on a whole new flavor. More than just wild car driving, it became almost Jason Bourne in its action sequences and gun fights. Added to that was the trademark crazy driving, and the combo worked.

Mentally, I considered that perhaps this was the beginning of a better "trilogy" of these movies. At this point I was still ignoring Tokyo Drift, the 3rd movie in the series.

FF 6 ended up being the best of the entire series in my opinion, if for no other reason than it brought back all the great characters from FF5, and included the most insane/over the top (CGI I'm sure) stunt I've seen in movies recently. For the record, FF6 and FF7 are basically two movies tied together in plot line, much like FF4 and FF5 tie together.

Now, what I realized only today as I pondered the series as a whole, is that chronologically, Tokyo Drift (FF3) actually did have a place in the series, and contained events that did tie back into the other movies (albeit loosely).

Now, I'll have to go back and watch FF3 to get the full cohesion there, but basically the chronological order of the series becomes the following:

Fast and the Furious (FF1)
2 Fast 2 Furious (FF2)
Fast and Furious (FF4)
Fast Five (FF5)
The Fast and Furious 6 (FF6)
Tokyo Drift (FF3)
Furious 7 (FF7)

Events taking place after FF6 and before FF7 directly relate to events found in Tokyo drift, despite it having been released years earlier. Apparently there is a special feature on one of the discs that bridges the gap with a short film, so I'll have to hunt that down for clarity. But, basically one of the main team members in FF5 and FF6 ends up having a role throughout FF3 and somewhat in FF7.

So, there you have it. The Fast and the Furious series is actually somewhat well thought out, and a cohesive universe as a whole. It's also interesting to note that as the movie progress Dom (Vin Diesel) becomes more and more superhuman, as he begins surviving some pretty crazy stunts by time we get to FF6 and 7. It's an interesting transition from tough guy racer in FF1 to essentially Super human tough guy in FF7.

So, are the films a bit cheesy? Yes. Is the acting a bit sub-par? Yes. But, would I recommend checking all the movies out? Most definitely.

Having seen them all now (Save Tokyo drift which I will watch soon), I can say that they just get more and more interesting as they progress. What starts as somewhat entertaining street racing films, became essentially spy thrillers with cars by the end of the series. And, it has good closure in FF7 (though more movies are planned)- so for a series as a whole up to this point, it wraps up well.

I would suggest, now that I'm more informed, watching the movies in chronological order.

It's possible to break them into pairs or trilogies mentally to help distinguish as well.

FF1 + FF2





Anyway, I know this is a departure from the usual, and probably only interesting to a select few, but occasionally I like to put something like this out there for the benefit of anyone who cares.

Hope it helps. They mature as they progress, and become more like all out action movies than just street racing movies. Though, cars and car stunts are always a big part of them.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Vocal Evangelism as an Essential

"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him [of] whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'" (Romans 10:14-15)

Christians need to be vocalizing the Gospel. I'm not the best at this, but I'm working on it. I tend to do it better in writing. But, as the verse above suggests, how will those who do not believe hear the message of Christ if Christians are not vocalizing that message?

The kingdom of God tarries while the number of those chosen from eternity past are brought into the faith in Christ. We do not know how many that will be, except that as long as we are here on earth, that number has not been reached. Therefore, evangelism (the vocal, sometimes uncomfortable kind) is really a Christian essential, despite often being treated as a non-essential.

If we treat it as non-essential, we ignore Christ's own words in His commission to the disciples to spread the Word to the ends of the earth. Christ died that men and women from all nations and tribes across the earth might believe and be saved. Though, not everyone on earth will be saved, and many will still reject Christ.

Yet, we do not know God's mind, or the heart of the unbeliever. How will they call on Christ if they have not heard the good news? How will they hear the good news if someone doesn't preach it? And, if it is the pastor's job to equip and make disciples, it is really the disciples (Christians) who are meant to be the hands and feet reaching out to the lost on a day-to-day basis.

So, let us treat evangelism as an essential. Some will say, "it is better to live the gospel by our actions," but who has ever come to saving faith in Christ by watching someone live a moral life, yet not hearing the message of Christ? No one. We can be compassionate, kind, and representative of a moral life, and in fact should as followers of Christ, yet we must also be vocalizing the gospel message to the lost.

Preach the true Gospel of Christ crucified for our sins as propitiation to satisfy God's wrath against sinful man. And preach the grace and mercy found in that sacrifice, as any who call on the name of the Christ will be saved. Those who repent of their sin, and put full faith in the finished work of Christ, are saved. Without the sacrifice, there could be no mercy- no forgiveness. We must establish the tough news of everyone having a sin problem, before we can explain the good news found through salvation in Christ.

I'll work on my vocal evangelizing confidence, and I hope my Christian brothers and sisters will too. It is essential that we tell the world of the coming King.

Let us fulfill our essential Christian calling and reach the lost for Christ.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Preach the Full Gospel

"...If you believe that there’s a heaven and a hell, and people could be going to hell or not getting eternal life, and you think that it’s not really worth telling them this because it would make it socially awkward—and atheists who think people shouldn’t proselytize and who say just leave me along and keep your religion to yourself—how much do you have to hate somebody to not proselytize? How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?" Penn Jillette (Atheist)

As we can see in the quote above, Penn at least respects those who at tried to witness to him, despite remaining in unbelief.

With this in mind, isn't it more loving to speak the truth (with gentleness and respect), even if that truth is going to be offensive to someone, or outright rejected? 

Yes, it is. But, our culture does not like to hear truth. Expressing Biblical Christianity (instead of the watered down version our culture is mildly aware of) is always going to be met with challenge. The Gospel is only good news, after the bad news of sin and God's wrath is shared. 

We barely use words like "wrath" or "sin" these days in our watered down Christian churches. We speak the good news without hesitation, but do not always present the full Gospel picture.

The Bible says, "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). Until we understand just how offensive sin is to a Holy and Just God, we cannot begin to comprehend why His wrath would be "revealed against unrighteousness" (Romans 1:18). We cannot comprehend why Christ needed to die in our place as atonement for sin. We need to hear the bad news for the good news to be good. 

Be bold, Christian brethren. We preach Christ, and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 1:23), an offering for the sin of the world, propitiation for our sin (1 John 2:2), and payment to satisfy the wrath of a Holy God. Though God is not the originator of sin, His curse on creation and mankind after their initial sin, broke fellowship (Genesis 3:17). Yet, even in such a curse, he offers a prophesy of one to come who will reunite fallen creation with its Creator (Genesis 3:15). This is manifested in Christ. 

The Old Testament fathers believed in God's promise of one to come, and it was counted to them as righteousness (Genesis 15:6; Romans 4:3). For none ever achieved fellowship with God through works or righteous attempts alone, but always with faith and repentance (Acts 20:21). The combination is necessary. 

Truthfully, our generation, nearly 2000 years after Christ now, has the full benefit of God's revelation, found in scripture. We are without excuse if we see this truth and reject it. We cannot claim to have not heard (which was not even an excuse pre-Christ). Therefore, those who have knowledge of the Gospel and still reject it, harden their hearts towards God. Eventually, God will give them what they want, and finalize the hardening of their hearts, as He did with Pharaoh in the book of Exodus (Exodus 4:21; Romans 9:18). At that point, there is no turning to Christ, and the individual is condemned, of their own choosing, to eternal separation from God's grace and goodness in Hell. 

So, plead earnestly with those who do not know Christ, yet plead even more earnestly with those who have heard the message, but turned away from it. For their accountability to God is greater than the one who has not heard yet heard the Gospel. Their rejection is of higher penalty than the one who has not yet heard (though that individual would also still be under God's wrath without Christ). 

The truths of scripture appear foolish to those who would reject Christ, and turn their backs on their Creator (1 Corinthians 1:18; 1 Corinthians 2:14). Yet, even in this foolishness, there is hope that perhaps the Holy Spirit can convict and bring them to repentance. Even those who seem most lost, may at some point turn around. For this reason, we continue to plead earnestly with the lost, praying that God's grace may still be reserved for them. We do not see on this side of the veil those who God has set apart for Himself. Therefore, we must preach the good news to everyone who does not know Christ, even those who seem to have fully rejected Him. For, in most instances, we do not know whether or not that person has hardened their own heart fully, or had it hardened by God. 

As Penn Jillette said, it would be wrong for the Christian who believes those without Christ will go to Hell, to not do their best to convince the unbeliever to turn from that fate. The ultimate acceptance or rejection is in God's hands, but we are called to be the messengers of the good news of Christ. 

Be bold, and preach the Good news in it's complete form. Do not forget why we are separated from God to begin with, and do not water down the Gospel to appease sensibilities. Preach earnestly the Word of the Lord to those who are perishing and pray their hearts be opened and turned to the Savior who would stand in their place, and accept the wrath set apart for them, that they might have eternal fellowship with the God who loves them. 

Monday, April 4, 2016

Focused on the Truth

Let me share my heart.

In 2012 I was theologically on fire for God and focused on writing to share His truths as best as I was able. Often in my life I have hit these "seasonal highs" for lack of better terminology. It seems every time though, it gradually gets stolen away. My focus shifts, or someone challenges something I say, and being unable to persuade my cause, I lose heart.

In 2013, one of my toughest years so far, I still began with an intense focus on God. In the midst of our heartache, I confirmed my commitment publicly by being baptized and acknowledging Christ as Lord formally (though I would argue my justification in Christ had come before this time).

As I learned more about the Bible and Christ, I drew ever closer to God. Yet, somewhere along the way I again lost focus. I hit a dry patch and stopped writing and studying. 

It's been said, and I would argue this is Biblical, that the closer we draw to God, often the more attacks we experience spiritually. Paul says in Ephesians 6 that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but spiritual powers. Satan has managed to snatch My focus a number of times in my life.

A few years back, I helped lead a lecture on false gospels, and had done immense prep beforehand, as it was my first public teaching of God. Almost immediately after, though, I still recall I hit another dry period. All the intense focus leading up to that lecture disappeared, or I'm inclined to see now, was snatched.

I have been in positions of service within various churches (often on praise teams or through missions) over the years, and it seems after a season each time, my focus is again snatched.

I do not believe it is evidence of not having been saved, as I have that assurance, so diligently sought over the years. I know my purpose in life is to glorify God. Yet, I wonder sometimes why I have not been more bold in speaking of the Gospel.

In writing, with time, I present ideas that upon re-reading often seem as if someone else was holding the pen (typing in this age). I look back on some of what I wrote and I can see God was working through my writing to help convey His message.

Lest I sound arrogant, I am not meaning to imply that my words are "God breathed" or "Scripture," only that God seems to have given me a gift of teaching, that I tend to display better in writing.

Over the years some things that have held me back are, increased distraction from Television, video games and other entertainment. Also, fear of upsetting the family balance by challenging some of the preconceived notions my family holds towards Christ. And, wishing to see many friends understand the truth. For there is no denying the truth of the Gospel.

My commitment to its truth is strong, yet I fear conversations with those who don't believe. I fear conversations with family members who claim belief, but show none of the fruit of true belief.

The term Christian is already being used in many apostate churches, and congregations which have long since fallen asleep. God's pressing on my heart has been to earnestly seek to make sure my brothers and sisters claiming Christ really understand what that means, and really have given their lives to Him. But, they call me arrogant. They ask how I know that "my way" is correct, as if I was preaching some Gospel I made up! I preach Christ and Him crucified. I preach repentance and faith in Christ as the only means by which anyone can be saved from the wrath of God. I wish Christians understood that they are saved from the wrath of the very creator of whom they sing. Had He not come among us and died the sacrificial death required for our sin, we would all be without hope, destined for separation and hell. But God, in His great mercy, put on flesh and willingly laid aside some of His power to live a sinless life, that he might be presented on the cross before Holy God as a sacrifice that could cleanse our sins once and for all. God's wrath was upon Him at the cross, yet He saw it through to completion, that we might become His adopted sons and daughters. That we might have His righteousness credited to us, so that our lives made up wholly of sin, storing up wrath against ourselves for judgment day, could be created anew, born again, and be covered by the righteousness of Christ, second person of our triune God, the agent of creation who now holds it together by His power and majesty, the King above all Kings.

I do not want to lose focus. May the enemy not steal away my passion in this hour, or those to come. May I be a vessel to bring the Gospel to those who have not heard it, and even to those who claim to know it and do not. So, that on the day of judgment, I might stand before Him and hear, "well done good and faithful servant..."

May I be bold, without fear or wavering spirit. May I not be caught up in the distractions of this world. May the Holy Spirit call His elect by words given through me,that those who were called might be chosen and that the conviction of the Spirit might renew their hearts for Christ.

May those whom I love as family and friends have willing ears, and may their hearts be opened to the truth, as the blind man regains his sight, so may they see God's truth anew.

Would that those closest to me not deter me from whatever God will place before me to accomplish. Would that they support me and offer what comfort the Spirit doesn't already provide.

For I am convinced, though day jobs may be needed to eat and get by, that no man or woman can have any greater calling than to live for the Lord and seek His will and the service which He has prepared for them from the foundation of the world. 

As the enemy's hold gets stronger on this earth, as governments topple and churches go apostate, may Christ's true body rise up to proclaim the good news to the ends of the earth, until the number of chosen has been fulfilled.

May we wish for His kingdom to come, even in our own lifetime. What a joyous day to be carried off in the Lord. Yet, even as those who hoped for that day before us did not live to see it, may we not give up on our earthly work in the meantime.

May I heed the Spirit's direction, and speak boldly the good news of Christ's resurrection. May it all be so. No more distraction, no loss of focus, and no fear of those who have no power over my body or soul, in Jesus name, join with me please. Amen.