The Error of Earl

Many of us have probably caught an episode or two of "My Name is Earl." Though short-lived, it garnered quite a following in its 4 seasons. Juliet and I originally caught it on Netflix, and watched through the entirety of the show. I'll admit, it's got some funny moments.

The premise begins when the main character, Earl Hickey, is hit by a car after winning the lotto. He had done nothing but bad things up to that point in his life. When he recovers, he decides he is going to make up for all the bad things he had done prior to his lotto win. He makes a list, and begins his quest to right the many wrongs which he had previously committed. Now, the idea of someone getting a large sum of money and going around doing good things for people is a great concept to our minds on the surface. But, one element of the focus of Earl's quest stands out to me as incorrect. I'd like to explore what I will call, "The Error of Earl."

If we took a quick poll of our immediate family and friends and asked them, "what is the greatest thing someone can do in this life,"  I'd put money that "helping others," would be the top answer. Our world's morality system, and truthfully an element of God's morality system, is focused on helping those who cannot help themselves. Christ taught that whatever we do for the least of our brethren, we do for him. This concept in and of itself is not a bad concept.

In the show, Earl begins seeking answers from what he believes "Karma" would want him to do. "Karma," in the case of the show becomes his driving force for what he does or does not do. And, as many episodes will attest, Karma is often a fickle mistress to him.

The eastern religions and faith systems of our day like Buddhism and Hinduism also contain an element of this idea of Karma. Do good things and good things will happen; do bad things and bad things will happen. It has become a throw away word in our culture where every celebrity who contributes to a cause is doing it because "it's good karma." Christians do not rely on a system of good versus bad deeds, but rather cling to the cross of Christ. Why do we do what others do not? Because Christ's teaching about the nature of God and morality and truth shows a much different worldview than that proposed by man-made religious systems.

It is true that within Buddhism and Hinduism (and many other religions) there is not an exact element of  "salvation,"as there is with Christianity. This is likely due to the fact that these religions are reliant totally on the individual to achieve something. Whether enlightenment, Nirvana, good karma, etc... something is being sought after by the individual, by their own actions. Again, the idea of doing good things is not inherently bad. As we see often in the show, Earl's good actions often produce positive results. The intention of the heart becomes the issue when good deeds are simply measured against a subjective standard of "good."

The problem within these religions is that they are simply that: Religions. Religion will say "do this or do that," but Christ says "It's done." Within the context of Christianity there is an exclusive claim made by Christ which sets it apart from other faith systems of the world. Christ says humans are not inherently "good." Just as the Bible mentioned plenty of times prior to Christ, man has a disease: Sin. From the first act against our Creator in the garden, to even the most basic failure we may have today, mankind has issues. Christ tells us that in and of ourselves, we (as diseased creatures) cannot bring about our own cure.

In the show, Earl is constantly seeking what he thinks will restore his Karma balance and put him back in a state of happiness and fulfillment. His actions mirror similar thought processes found within the major Eastern Religions.

Buddhism and other systems like it will say if you balance the amount of good and  bad, you can achieve some state of happiness or comfort within the world. Islam has a similar concept in that if you adhere to its tenants (5 pillars of Islam) you can achieve favor with the one God (Allah). Even Judaism in its current form relies on some form of good works to earn favor with God. God allowed for a time in ancient Judaism a system of sacrifices and laws meant to temporarily cover the sin (disease) of the people. Like all others since Adam, the Jewish people were dealing with the exact same "sin problem." God laid out laws and order for them as a precursor to what Christ would ultimately achieve on the cross. The sacrificial system of "doing" was a means of showing that no matter how much they "did," they could never be fully reconciled to God. This is a lesson Earl could take to heart. He is exhausting himself trying to figure out what "Karma" wants him to do, but never stops to think what God would want him to do. And, though small, there are elements of the faith within the show demonstrated in some minor characters. He is not "without knowledge" of at least the basic idea of one God. His view of God is quite misguided, but he does imply through some conversations that he believes God to exist in some form. Personally, I think his constant appeals to Karma demonstrate he is more inclined to let her be his god, than to seek any sort of Biblical understanding of God. Oddly in one episode a tornado hits their town and a Bible is seen passing through the hands of many of the characters. None of them seem to understand the truth held within, and see it more as a "sign" of good karma, or that God is with them in their endeavors. Again, a misguided view.

Now, someone can (and probably will) say that within the context of Buddhism and other works based religious systems that God is not always something in which they believe. That is true. Buddhism is fairly atheistic in its thinking, and does not believe in a higher power other than one's self. Hinduism has millions of gods, and people pick and choose the ones that fit best with how they want to live. The pattern that emerges here is that people are trying to do something or achieve something outside of their Creator. It is really a rather bleak worldview at its heart. With Buddhism, the ultimate goal of Nirvana is essentially a state of emptiness and nothingness. Where is the hope in that? Though the culture will argue with me on this one, Christianity is set apart from these other systems in that Christ says there is only one cure for our sin disease. His sacrifice.

Sadly, most people are not aware that they even have a problem. They will compare laterally themselves to the works of others. Maybe they say something like, "well I don't murder people so I'm better than that guy." But, God's standard of morality and truth is much higher than simply do not murder. God's standard says that in our current state, we cannot be in fellowship with Him. God does not compare us laterally, but sets an objective standard by which all are measured. That standard is perfectly just and righteous, as God's nature is perfect justice and righteousness.

Now, Christ was there at the beginning of creation with God (2nd part of Triune God- John 1:1), and would acknowledge that perfect fellowship with our Creator is what this world was meant for in the first place. We were created for perfect fellowship with our Creator and are now fallen away from that original intent. There's a reason bad things happen within the world. As Paul says in Romans 8:22, creation is groaning like a woman in labor pains under the curse of sin. But, the hope of the Christian is that once in Christ, we have no more condemnation. Our disease is cured and the debt we owe to a Holy and perfect God is paid in full.

No other world religion or value system has this element, and it is why Christianity is exclusive in its belief. We cannot earn or do anything ourselves to earn favor, happiness, good karma, or whatever else people seek. The common things we enjoy like a good meal or quality time with family are a product of God's common grace extended to both believers and unbelievers. It is a grace separate from the saving grace that Christ says is required for an eternal fellowship with God (John 8:24). If people realized just how amazing that fellowship will be, they'd likely dump the works based religions and lean fully on Christ for their salvation and perfection. Because, God promises us a world restored and renewed. Yes, it's not on this side of the curtain…not completely anyway, but the great hope for us as Christians is the eventual fulfillment of all Christ came to do for us on the cross, which includes a restored creation.

My concern for both Christians and non-Christians these days is that our culture has become too accustomed to these works- based ways of thinking. Even within certain Christian denominations and circles, an element of works is present. The Catholic church still tells people that by somehow doing enough "hail Marys" and other forms of penance, they will keep their forgiveness secure. This is simply man trying to impose control where he truthfully has none. As John puts it in his first epistle,

"if we confess our sins, he (Christ) is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

Paul and James write that good deeds and works are a product of faith in Christ, not the means by which we earn salvation in Christ. They do not justify us. Only the cross could do that. Nothing but the flawless, sacrificial lamb (Christ) could atone for the world's sin problem. But, Christians are called to bear good fruit. In Christ we become a new creation and the old passes away (2 Corinthians 5:13). A result of this is the desire to do good, but the good we do is simply a sign that we are new within Christ. It is not done to achieve something because we are already justified within Christ by our faith in Christ.

Now, we will not be perfect on this side of Heaven that is true, but we now have no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1). If we earnestly repent then He is faithful and just to forgive us. No other world religion offers forgiveness of sin by simple mercy and grace. Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, etc… will tell people that they are basically good, and that the more good deeds they achieve in this life, the better. This is Earl's line of thinking in the show. He tries to make up for his wrongdoing (his sin) by simply righting the wrongs with the people he mistreated. He never addresses his inherent capacity to have done the bad things in the first place. He believes that by doing good deeds, he can earn his way back into favor with the universe or Karma or whatever.

But, consider this. Even the most devout Buddhist, the one who achieves so called Nirvana, is still in a system of belief that believes he will simply be reincarnated in a never ending circle of new lives. Is there hope in that? It sounds terrible. What if, right before death, that Buddhist somehow fell short of his own standard. By his own belief, there is then a chance he will be reincarnated as a lesser life form, no matter how far along he was before. Hindu's have the same concept of death and rebirth, and it has led to the atrocious "Caste" system in India and other places, whereby the individual's place in society is directly related to how good their past life was. Do people even remember these past lives? How can someone be held accountable for something they technically never even did. It is flawed, and leads to some poor treatment of the very people the religion of Hinduism says it should be helping. It is contradictory within itself.

In death there is no opportunity to balance out good and bad karma, so they simply have to hope that prior to death, their good outweighs their bad. Unfortunately for them, any good deeds done outside of faith in Christ will mean nothing on that side of the curtain (Hebrews 9:27; Daniel 12:2). Juliet and I believe in Christ because we acknowledge our failure to live up to God's objective standard. We understand that there is no other name under Heaven by which men can be saved (Acts 4:12). Gandhi, the Buddha, and all of the other great minds of the past, had one essential truth missing. They did not trust Christ to eliminate their sinful nature. They were stuck in a system of reliance on self. Had they looked to Christ, as the Bible shows him (I realize some Christians can give Christ a bad name), they would see that his burden is easy.

"Come unto me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

Constantly trying to outweigh our good and our bad must be a truly wearisome effort. Earl learns throughout the season of the show just how complicated living by Karma's rule can be. He does not always see a direct benefit from his good because there is no objective standard to what is "good" outside of God's standard. Karma is an incredibibly subjective concept. Who is to say that what he did or did not do is good or bad in that system of belief?  I'm sure a show in which Earl's first act was to put faith in Christ and have his past bad deeds forgotten as far as east is from west would have made for low ratings (Psalm 103:12). For Earl; however, it would have made his life instantly more fulfilled, and justified him before a Holy and Just creator whose requirement is faith in the sacrifice he made on the cross.

There is a slippery slope these days within Christianity. Christians, desiring to please man over God, are beginning to implement eastern religious practices and elements into their Christianity. While the Bible does not outwardly condemn practices like meditation (emptying of self) and yoga (whose positions are designed to honor specific Hindu deities), it does warn us of becoming too much like the world. Christianity is exclusive because Christ said it is the only way (John 14:6). Christians did not make this up, it is God's truth, stated numerous times by Christ.

We can always do more to help our fellow brethren, and truly mature Christians are called to go above and beyond. But, there is a wide gap between helping out of our desire to help as Christ would have done, and helping because we have a worldview that tells us the more good we do, the better we are. There is something inherently prideful about a good deed done outside of Christ, because it will always give a sense of satisfaction with oneself. The only selfless good deed would be that done as an outpouring of the Holy Spirit with no attempt to earn favor with God from it. Though often taken out of context, James does hit on something when he says that faith without works is dead. The church has taken a lot of liberty with that verse to try to argue that there is some need for works to earn our salvation. But, when compared with similar texts from Paul's teaching, we see it lines up nicely with the idea that works are a result of being a new creation after being justified in Christ by our faith in Christ.

I am probably guilty of not doing enough as an outpouring of my belief in Christ, so I will resolve to bear more fruit from this point on. But, I know in my heart, that my eternal destination is not in any way a product of what I do or do not do here on earth, outside of putting faith in the only one who can reconcile me to fellowship with my creator: Christ Jesus.

It's All Greek to Me

I wonder sometimes where I get ideas to do things. Often a random conversation or occurrence will spur in me the desire to create or do something that I would not have otherwise thought to do. This happened a few weeks back when on a whim I decided I would teach myself Greek.

Originally, or what I told myself anyway, was that I would learn Biblical Koine Greek, so that I could begin reading the New Testament in its original language. This would allow me to better defend the authority of scripture and the relevancy of the Bible to those who think it has been changed too much over the years to be of any use (hint: it has not been changed in ways that dramatically affect the faith).

It's Greek to Me

As I decided to begin writing this, I remembered an oft heard phrase, "It's all Greek to me." I began wondering what the origin and intent of such a phrase was originally. My understanding, from the context, was that it had something to do with an idea that was not able to be understood easily. Actually, I find the Greek language, though somewhat difficult, to not be overly complicated thus far. So, here is some of what I found that I will share before continuing.

Wikipedia shows that it may have originated with Latin speaking monk scribes in the Middle ages as the Greek language was slowly dwindling among those copying transcripts in monasteries. Shakespeare and other authors had also used the phrase in a similar way as well. The link above will fill in the rest for those who care to check it. Welcome back!

The article had at its end a list of the variations on this phrase for different languages, including (to my surprise) one for Greek. The Greeks would say, "Αυτά μου φαίνονται κινέζικα" roughly translated, "This seems Chinese to me."

Oddly enough, Juliet's native tongue also references the Chinese language as its unintelligible language related to this turn of phrase. There's is something like, "Me suena en chino or está en Chino," which basically is the same concept of, "this is Chinese to me."

I'm not sure what the point of that lesson was except that I found it odd that in Greek there happened to be a phrase similar to ours which referenced their language. I guess those who speak Greek see Chinese as the hard language. I'd probably agree.

So, I began simply by hand copying various writings in Greek. The typical first year seminary reading of John 1:1 and the Lord's Prayer were my first choices. The idea was more for a familiarity with the language, as I still could not directly translate them just from visual at this point (or currently if we're being honest). From that I learned the alphabet and its pronunciations.

My first roadblock hit was learning that the pronunciations of Koine Greek (Biblical writings) and Modern Greek (That which is spoken in Greece) are much different. Also, that native Greek speakers are very emphatic about how one pronounces their language. Youtube had quite a few attacks on pronunciation by native speakers critiquing the videos of seminary and other professors attempting to teach Koine Greek.

Because I decided to teach this to myself on a whim, I'm not particularly sure yet which pronunciation approach I will take, but I am leaning towards understanding both if possible. The letters are the same, just different ways to say them.

With any goal, there must be an element of personal reflection or growth. So far I have learned a few things about myself from this endeavor.

1) If I am not being pressured with homework and due dates, I study better and learn faster

Sorry teachers, but the freedom of knowing I am doing this of my own accord and not being forced or required makes it so much more enjoyable. We'll see how disciplined I stay as I progress, but for now, it's very fun to me. I can write and study when I want, where I want, and other than personal goals I have nothing rushing me.

2) I learn better writing things than typing them

Sorry computer nerds, it just happens that physically writing the language has helped me retain the information better. Practicing by writing it has been helpful too. I could sit on Google Translate all day typing in phrases for memory, but I likely will not remember them. I have a really nice little notebook with a great pen that makes my handwriting look legible, and I slowly and carefully write each phrase and word and do my best to absorb it.

3) I will eventually have to cooperate with someone or something to fully grasp the language

Sorry self, you can't just go solo on this one. At some point I realize I will be past the basics of the language and get stuck, or just need someone to quiz me. There is a demo for the Greek version of Rosetta Stone that has the majority of the Level 1which I have been repeating over and over trying to learn phrases. I would love to purchase (at some point) the full 3 level version because from what I can tell so far, it is a legitimate way to expose yourself to the basics of a language.

4) I need to expose myself practically and culturally to the language 

Sorry wallet, eventually I would like to take a trip to Greece. Most people I talk to from Mexico (Juliet's family and her) say the best way to learn a language is to immerse yourself in the culture and be surrounded by it. This would explain why with only a college level understanding of Spanish, I am now able to fully grasp what Juliet and her family talk about in conversation. If I am focused, with words I know and context, I can figure out the topic and conversational aspects; as well as, the emotional emphases used by the speakers.

I first realized this trick when on our engagement night, Juliet and I attended a showing of "Night at the Museum" in Mexico. She assured me there would be English subtitles so I did not think to question her. I had also seen the movie once in English. It turns out there were no subtitles and it was completely in Spanish, but I followed it and understood a good portion from hearing it (not just my memories of seeing it in English).

This wouldn't be the first time that happened, as years later she assured me prior to seeing Avatar that it would have English subtitles too. Her dad sat next to me translating every 10 minutes or so because once again she was mistaken. It was fun though. The Spanish subtitles for the Na'vi language sections were the easiest parts because I am pretty good at reading Spanish.

My weakness in Spanish is speaking it, and part of that is shyness. I told Juliet I could probably hold a conversation with her. She isn't so sure. Our dogs understand Spanish more than English because she speaks to them with Spanish words. I learn those words and began using them as well. Our dogs don't have bones, they have "huesos," and Puggy doesn't know what a "bone" is.

Moving On

Going forward, though I find this to be an interesting project, I have not yet established my endgame. Juliet says she would learn with me if I promise a trip to Greece someday. She probably is set up more mentally to absorb multiple languages as she is already fully fluent in two. She'd rather learn German or Italian next, but maybe after Greek we can do that. Is there really anything stopping someone from having at least a base knowledge of 4 or 5 languages? After my study thus far, I'd say a general understanding is certainly possible, though it likely would take years of disciplined practice.

Spiritual Application
My original intent was to use the language to read New Testament, and I think I will maintain that. But, currently with the Rosetta Stone demo, I have a genuine interest in speaking a little as well. I could always go to seminary and take elementary Greek, but then I'd have a schedule and due dates and the desire might fade. Also, I'm still of the opinion that not everyone who wants to go to seminary should go to seminary. We have enough "not quite Christian" Christian pastors out there as it is without adding more false shepherds to the pool. I still feel it would be a calling to pursue that route and thus far, God hasn't had anything to say to me on it. I'm open to it, but we'll have to see.

In the end, I will pursue this as long as my interest holds, and hopefully next time people see me I can speak some Greek and hear them say, "Sorry Chris, I didn't get that..it was all Greek to me." And I will think, "yes...yes it was."

Here is a sample of my current Greek knowledge, though without a Greek keyboard on the blog, they are copy/pasted from Google Translate:

Χρειάζεται βενζίνης - Translated: She needs gasoline. I find that word, "Χρειάζεται" to be my least favorite Greek word so far. It is way too long with an "x (chi)" and a "z (zeta)" and all it means is "need." Hopefully, the rest of the language will be easy. But, either way, it's all Greek to me!

"All Greek to me" Pun Count: 2....figured I'd have more than that by the end of this.

Be blessed friends!

Not of This World

Not of This World

Credit to Dan Lietha http://www.danltoons.com

"If the world hates you, keep in mind, it hated me first." John 15:18

There are some days that I wake up, look through my Facebook feed, and shudder at the incredibly anti-Christian sentiments that permeate the world today. Most of this comes from related articles regarding things happening around the world to various ministries that I follow. It surprises me especially because those who are usually attacking these ministries are the same ones preaching "tolerance" for everyone. Of course the world's view of tolerance is to tolerate everything that is not Christian-related. We are called exclusivist and intolerant often as Christians, but it is really outside groups who are the least tolerant.

Christians are not new to this intolerance of the faith. Christ pointed out that a life of following him would come with the hatred from the world. It is the founder of our faith who preached its exclusivity. Christians simply explain in Biblical context Jesus's teachings on that matter. One ministry in particular who takes a huge amount of attack is Answers in Genesis.

I will start by saying I fully support what Ken Ham and Answers in Genesis are trying to do. From a Christian standpoint, his big point is pushing for the authority of God's word by looking to the creation account. Technically, as Christians, we need to believe in the form of this account that looks to God's ability to create ex-nihilo (out of nothing). Sadly, most Christians these days have adopted the religion of evolution to please man, and while acknowledging God's power in other things, refuse to believe He could have created the world in six literal days. 

Ken Ham and Answers in Genesis, seek to provide info to educate people on how this was possible, and how much of the scientific data out there these days is manipulated to fit into the environment that supports evolution. 

My point here is not to debate that (as I will dedicate a full blog to it when I do), but simply to say that people really lay into that guy. Atheists obviously consider his teaching of literal creation to children as child abuse. This is a huge exaggeration, and it is really more abusive to a child to deny them teaching about their Creator. Still, they pursue his ministry like rabid dogs, pouncing on every word he says. 

Ken started the "Creation Museum" located in the Kentucky area (http://www.creationmuseum.org), and is currently working on building a full scale version of Noah's Ark (http://www.arkencounter.com) which is a great idea for teaching and spreading God's truth. The misconception of the size of the ark and its purpose is commonly represented in all secular (and some Christian) references to it today.

What bothers me lately; however, is not so much the secular attacks, as it is the inside attacks. If a Christian wants to immediately alienate his or her Christian brethren, they need only suggest that God could have literally created the earth in 6 days. They need only suggest that, Biblically, man and all land animals dwelt together pre-flood (Dinosaurs). They need only mention that vegetation was man's primary food until after the flood as well. Genesis 9:1-3 records the first mention of God giving animals to man for food. If God said creation was very good, then there couldn't have been millions of years of death prior to the statement. We see the first real "death" when God sacrifice an animal to clothe Adam and Eve after they sin (a picture of Christ's ultimate sacrifice that would come later). These statements light a fire under people who have been trained to believe evolution as fact for the past few hundred years. Logically, information from a man a few hundred years ago, compared to divinely inspired information thousands of years old, presents what should be an obvious choice to the Christian (hint: It's not Darwin). 

Now, as Ken Ham points out, it is not a salvation issue to believe in evolution, or in an old earth. It is an authority issue. If we compromise on the age of the earth as recorded in Genesis, how can we trust anything else the Bible represents? We are talking about book 1, chapter 1, verse 1 being denied. If we throw out the intro, how will the rest make sense? We take many other things on faith, and God's word, why not this? If God couldn't create the earth in six literal days, doesn't that detract from his power? Do we believe ourselves so superior to God that we assign to him our ideas about the age of the earth? Clearly, many do.

I am all for not being legalistic, and not getting hung up on non-salvation issues. But even Christ has statements throughout his ministry that indicate the Genesis accounts to be true. One example is in the acknowledgment of Noah's flood as a real event. 

"But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be." Matthew 24:37-39

An acknowledgment from the founder of our faith should be enough to take the Biblical account as true. Sadly, even those professing a relationship with Christ, love to ignore his statements on things that don't align with their particular worldview. This is where it becomes an authority issue. If Christ is our representation of who we as Christians are to imitate, would we not imitate his teachings during his time on earth? He certainly acknowledged Noah's Flood, Satan, Sin's hold on the world, Hell, and other important doctrines that get disputed within the faith all of the time.

The world has everything backwards, and Christians are usually the ones most aware of this. Lately, based on news and social media, it seems Christians are much happier to just go with the flow instead of standing against it. We applaud the gay athletes while condemning and mocking those willing to stand for God. We cry foul to ministries that promote creation, while believing that somehow God used our scientific theories to create His universe. We constantly put ourselves above God. When Christians begin to look like the picture in Romans 1:21, there is something wrong.

"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles. Therefore, God gave the mover in the sinful desires of tehir hearts to sexual impurity for degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worhsipped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen." Romans 1:21-25 (emphasis mine)

Christians should not be exchanging God's truth for man's lies. We should be looking to please God, not man. In doing so, we set ourselves up for the persecution and hate about which Christ taught, but we align ourselves with the one who has sovereign control. 

Aligning ourselves is what I want for my Christian brethren and myself. Too many people (including myself on certain issues) will ride the fence too often. Christians are called apart. We are different, and we think differently (or should). Our children should be raised with different values and concepts than what the world finds important. We must live in this society, yes, but we do not have to accept its creations as truth. We accept the word of our Savior and Creator. We do not bow to those like Dawkins and Maher because they can command a following. We do not give in to pressure to avoid clearly taught doctrines in favor of pleasing everyone. We seek to please God first, not man.

Our pastor mentioned some differences this past week about Biblical truth, spiritual conviction and personal preference. If I understand correctly it is something like this. A Biblical truth is that Christ was resurrected, or that adultery is always wrong. That is essential for all people. Juliet has a spiritual conviction against celebrating Halloween. It is essential for her, and she bases it on the conviction in her heart, but it may not be essential to all people. This represents a spiritual conviction. I am with her on it now, though I was reluctant at first. We should not force or argue with other Christians based on their decisions regarding our spiritual convictions. Finally, it is our personal preference to attend worship services that have contemporary worship music. The type of music we like to hear within the church is non-essential, and based on personal preference of those attending or listening. A better way of putting that might be that it is a personal preference for every Christian to only listen to Christian music. It is certainly helpful, but there is no real scriptural basis specifically mentioning musical styles. It is based on preferences, and maybe for some, a spiritual conviction. The point is that there are distinctions, but that Biblical truths are not debatable within the faith. There are some things that cannot be argued against based on personal preference. If God says it, it stands. 

 It is Biblical truth that God created the heavens and the earth, that is not just my spiritual conviction (Genesis 1:1). I feel spiritually convicted to accept that as fact and trust God's authority on the matter, and think other Christians should as well. It shouldn't have to be just a conviction for me, but for now it is. My heart goes out to ministries like Answers in Genesis, who do their best to get the message of the authority of the Bible and of God to the public, and to Christians who have discarded it. Ken Ham takes a ton of hate for his conviction and purpose in spreading the message of God's word as found beginning in Genesis and running throughout all of scripture. 

I use Answers in Genesis as a primary example because they are one of the most hated ministries out there right now. Their desire for children to put faith in Christ, not Darwin, is met with all kinds of attacks. Thankfully, their Ark project has been given the go ahead by their state and areas, so with God's help, more people can visit and learn about Biblical creation truth. 

The attack campaigns from various groups who are admittedly against some Christian values continue daily. Their soapbox is held above any plea by Christian organizations for fair treatment. Pastors who take a stand on Biblical issues lose privilege among our nation's elite, and are traded for more "liberal" theologians. 

It isn't just the Creation issue, but it does start there. If we cannot even take God's authority in the first part of scripture, why should we take his word on anything after that? This leads to some dangerous conclusions about the faith, and ultimately takes away from Christ. When we trade God's word for man's, we cannot grow in our faith. If we are to be professing Christians, should we really be working ourselves against Christ? 

Save the Earth! God and the Environment

As a resident of Austin, I am fairly used to the greener earth, reduced carbon footprint, organic vibe. To an extent, it has no direct effect on me. Generally I can decide whether I want to eat organically or drive a hybrid car. I can do certain things to be “greener” or more “energy efficient.” This I don’t mind so much. At times, though, our culture's obsession with fixing the environment can lead to frustration. 

Last November when I needed to get my Texas State inspection done on our 2004 Toyota, I was initially unable to pass the emissions inspection. This inspection is a bit of a waste to me anyway because the cars they are keeping from passing are not generally the ones that should be off the road if we are talking of pollution and emissions in general. I see big diesel trucks daily blowing black smoke out of their tailpipes while my Toyota rolls along, not smoking. To pass the inspection I was told I would need an $800 part. 

With some research I managed to find a way to still pass without replacing the part, and after much frustration, managed to get the sticker. It was a hard fought battle for something that seems quite insignificant to me, honestly. 

The popular opinion of the day, especially in Austin, is that we need to find ways to protect or fix our environment. The onslaught of global warming and various other related things, is damaging our world. This is at least the pitch we hear from those promoting this cause. 

It began affecting me again recently when Austin chose to do away with all plastic bags. We returned from Oklahoma to find that in order to carry out our groceries, we needed to spend $.99 per green recyclable bag. These bags were not nearly as capable of handling multiple loads of groceries, and made an already annoying task that much worse. A month or so later, I am still forgetting to bring them with me, and shelling out extra money each grocery visit to buy “environmentally friendly” bags. I would think there are more practical ways of helping the environment. I have trouble udnerstanding how my plastic bags were contributing to the earth’s deterioration.

Lest I sound too cynical, I will say that the idea is not entirely unacceptable. I can see how keeping our environment healthy would directly benefit those of us on this earth. What I sometimes fail to understand; however, is why people seem to think they can have a large affect on fixing the problem. 

While there are certainly ways of helping, there is no way that man can fix our environment. There are a few reasons for this. I would like to explore our environment and how as Christians we ought to relate to it in a Biblical context. My cynicism towards the changes I’ve had to make is partially misplaced, I will admit. Doing our part certainly isn’t hurting anything. What I would like to clarify though is that we are not to treat creation as a god to worship. We are also not to pridefully think that we have any ultimate control over our world’s fate. As we will see scripturally, God has it under control. 

We can really take comfort in that fact. If God, who created this earth, holds it in His full control, then we need not worry. After all, it’s His creation we are talking about.

The Creator

Beginning in the very first chapter of the Book of Genesis, we can already see that God has a pretty nice plan in place for the world. Each aspect of creation is followed by the note that God calls it “Very Good.” 

“Very Good” in Biblical terms is really to say that it is perfect. It is not yet introduced to sin, or the curse. It is as it was always meant to be, and as we will see, how it will someday again be.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was VERY GOOD. And there was evening, and there was morning-the sixth day.” Genesis 1:31 (Emphasis Mine)

Right away, by the sixth day of creation, God is finished and says the creation is very good. This creation includes all of the animals at this point; as well as, the earthly environment. It is Earth in its finest hour so to speak. We will see; however, that as soon as man is given some freedom over this creation, we immediately screw things up. 

Genesis chapter 3, verse 15 is considered the first prophesy of Christ. It is also the verse that causes the entire world shift into its current state. With one disobedient act, God’s perfect creation is cursed. 

“...and I (God) will put enmity between you (the serpent) and the woman (Eve), and between your offspring (those who are in sin) and hers (Christ); he (Christ) will crush your (serpent) head, and you (serpent) will strike his (Christ) heel.” Genesis 3:15

The majority of Biblical scholars point to this verse as the prediction of a future redeemer who will defeat the serpent (Satan), restore creation to its original state, and redeem man. While it is hard to see in the immediate, literal reading of the text, multiple commentators and early church Fathers have pointed to this verse as the first look at the Gospel in scripture. We know, of course, that Satan did “bruise Christ’s heel,” at the cross. What appeared as victory at the time, became inevitable defeat 3 days later when Christ rose and conquered death. At his second coming, He will put away Satan once and for all, and restore His creation. He will “Crush ‘the serpent’s’ head.” While this is an essential verse for our faith, it is not meant to be my primary focus for this post, so moving on, we examine a few verses later why the earth was cursed.

“To Adam he said, ‘Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, you must not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.” Genesis 3:17-19

This is really the key section for my point with this post. In Genesis 1, creation was perfect. God called it very good, and sin had not yet entered into it. After Genesis 3:15, as punishment for disobedience, God curses the earth. This prophetic punishment is a foreshadowing of an existing problem we face even today. The earth is not in perfect condition. This punishment is also done in full sovereignty. God is in total control, and even though we are separated after Genesis 3:15 from God’s presence, He has already established a plan from the moment the punishment is pronounced for the redeeming of His creation and its inhabitants that still seek Him.

The Cursed Creation is Still in God’s Full Control

Throughout Biblical history, the dynamic of a cursed creation is fully explored. The entirety of the Old Testament is a revealing of Christ who will come to redeem God’s people. Within the context of the various prophets of Israel and Judah in the Old Testament, we still see God in full control of His creation. In the following verses we will see more on the subject of the cursed earth, but will also note verses which point to God’s control over His creation, despite the punishment of the curse.

Cursed

“The earth dries up and withers, the world languishes and withers, the heavens languish with the earth. The earth is defiled by its people; they have disobeyed the laws, violated the statutes and broke the everlasting covenant. Therefore a curse consumes the earth; its people must bear their guilt...” Isaiah 24:4-6

“I brought you into a fertile land to eat its fruit and rich produce. But you came and defiled my land and made my inheritance detestable.” Jeremiah 2:7

God is in Control despite the Curse Because it is His  Sovereign Creation

“You alone are LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you.” Nehemiah 9:6

“For since the creation of the word God’s invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has ben made, so that people are without excuse” Romans 1:20

“For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:16-17

“Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.” John 1:3

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Genesis 1:1

“In the beginning was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.” John 1:1-2

Creation’s Ultimate Redemption

We can see from the previous verses that God is absolutely in control of His creation. Nothing created by God is out of His control. Everything falls within His final redemptive plan.

We may ask; however, what is God’s redemptive plan? For the Christian, one aspect of it should be a no-brainer. We are redeemed from our separation from God by Christ’s death on the cross, and his substitutionary atonement. We who are called by God’s spirit to repentance and trust in Christ, are redeemed from our sin. 

While mankind’s redemption may be a more obvious purpose of God, we can see in scripture that the ultimate redemption of this earth (and God’s total creation) is a part of the divine plan as well. Christ didn’t just die to redeem people, He died to redeem this world from the curse. He who was sinless, suffered God’s wrath (which we had been storing up since the Fall) and justified us while we were yet sinners. For those in Christ, we have been justified by His sacrifice. If Christ’s crucifixion was about redemption, why do we still see an imperfect earth? 

“For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.” Romans 8:19-22

Paul’s words here are pivotal in establishing creation’s relation to us in the redemptive process. The reason Christ isn’t sitting here with us as I type this, is because in God’s patience, he is waiting for all who he has called to come unto him. God is not willing any of his should perish, and so he patiently allows creation to continue groaning, as more continue coming to him. 

Paul’s speech here is very interesting as he anthropomorphizes creation, suggesting that it is anticipating its own redemption. Interestingly enough, the Bible is not silent on what this redemption of creation will look like.

“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare.” 2 Peter 3:10

“...That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth where righteousness dwells.” 2 Peter 3:12b-13

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea...And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Look! god’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them.’” Revelation 21:1, 3 

Our Response

So, when Christ has finally returned, and when the judgment has finally occurred, then this cursed earth will pass away, and God will make a new heaven and a new earth, for the righteous to dwell. This is Heaven, as I have mentioned in a previous blog: “Heaven: Our Hope in Christ.” The old picture of harp playing on clouds is scripturally inaccurate. Will we worship with music? Yes. But our bodies were originally created to dwell in a perfect creation, not to float around on clouds. Adam and Eve prior to the fall, were living in a perfected creation. It is only the curse of sin from the Fall that causes our world to be as it is today. Speaking both to the unbelievers’ separation from God, and to the destructive forces our earth experiences everyday, it is cursed. 

Though God is sovereignly in control, destructive storms were not part of the original creation. Earthquakes and destruction were not in the original perfected earth. With this in mind, it should be our great hope as Christians to see this new, perfected earth.

I’ve often joked that if all the misguided people out there following the New Age religions and worshipping the earth would simply trust in the God of creation and Christ, they would eventually see their desire for a perfect world come to pass. Sadly, even now, people misplace their efforts. No amount of reduction in carbon footprints will bring about the redemption of our environment on this earth. It is not possible. And, while I don’t want to be a total negative Nancy, we can see clearly in scripture that God has another plan. So what should our response be as Christians to the environment? Should we ignore and abuse it?

I think we can find this answer in a few key places in scripture. God originally set Adam to tend the garden and to subdue the earth. In this way, mankind was always meant to take care of creation. We are not here to abuse and destroy it, but to tend to it. 

“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” Genesis 2:15

“The land must not be sold permanently, because the land is mine and you reside in my land as foreigners and strangers. throughout the land that you hold as a possession, you must provide for the redemption of the land.” Leviticus 25:23-24

Now, with the curse preventing its perfection, we certainly need not waste our lives pursuing perfected creation by our own hand. That would be a product of misplaced pride in our own abilities. 

I suggest that we do the small things that make an obvious difference. This may look different to different people, and I think that’s ok. I might continue to whine about the recyclable bags because I don’t see the full impact of that right now. Perhaps, someone can point it out and I will change my mind. It seems to me that people smoking or big trucks blowing diesel out is more damaging than my plastic grocery bag.

What I suggest is not so much a passive approach, as an actively passive approach. We need not waste our time trying to perfect something that cannot be perfected. But, if we see trash on the road, we can pick that up. If we get the choice we can buy a “greener” option for air fresheners or whatever the case may be. We can respect God's creation, despite its current cursed state.

The earth belongs to its Creator, and our hearts should be towards Him as well. The Bible says in Christ we are a new creation, the old has passed away. In this way, the earth will experience the same type of redemptive process at the end of time. For Christians, Heaven will be something familiar, but perfected. We will have redeemed bodies in a redeemed creation.

The next time someone is mocking our idea of Heaven, explain how it is simply a perfected version of our current world. Even the scoffers can admit to seeing some beauty in this world. How much more beautiful when it is redeemed, and we again have perfect fellowship with our Creator. In eager anticipation we wait, with creation, for its redemption. In the meantime, we look to the author of it all, and the sacrifice he made, that we might have unending fellowship with him, in this life and the next. Praise God!

Melchizedek: The Mysterious High Priest of God

A Call To Study
Sometimes I write blogs to compel others to study and research for themselves, the things that I believe, or find interesting. The topic here and characters related are often easily overlooked, but ultimately significant in establishing our view of Christ, and His many roles fulfilled in His life and now, even as we speak.

A Priest Not of Man
There is an interesting Biblical figure, mentioned only three times (2 OT, 1 NT), who appears at the very least to be a righteous priest of a non-levitical priesthood and possibly is an archetype of Christ or Old Testament Christophany. His name is written in our English Bibles as "Melchizedek." His first appearance is in Genesis 14:18-20.

Interestingly, the Hebrew breakdown of his name, Malki Tzedek is translated as "King is Righteousness." When we consider as well that the elements used to minister to Abram after his battle in Genesis 14 are bread and wine, it is difficult not to connect this character with Christ.

Melchizedek comes to Abram as the King of Salem (which is in what would become Jerusalem-site of Christ's future kingdom). Salem in Hebrew is transliterated to "Shalom" which is peace. So we could also rightly call him the "King of Peace." "Shalem" is another Hebrew transliteration meaning perfect or whole.

King David Prophesies
When David writes Psalm 110:4, we see another prophetic mention of Melchizedek. David is prophesying about Christ, the coming messiah, and says that He will be a priest after the order of Melchizedek. The context of Psalm 110:1-4 is that David moves into the realm of prophesy in the midst of writing, and becomes predictive of Christ before transferring thought back to his normal writing. This occurs many times in the Old Testament, as Christ is gradually revealed through the kings and prophets' writings as they are Holy Spirit inspired. We know that the Old Testament's purpose is the revealing of Christ, so this fits well within that context.

New Testament Mention
Finally, we see in the New Testament in Hebrews chapter 5:6, that God has set Christ as a priest after the order of Melchizedek. The reason this is interesting is that based on even a simple look at the Old and New Testaments, the Levites were God's chosen priests to minister to Him. The Levitical priesthood was not even established until Moses' time. So, when we see Abram (prior to God renaming him Abraham), meeting a priest of the most high God, long before Moses and the Levitical priesthood, it should cause us to examine closely.

The Old Testament is filled with appearances that can be considered Christophanies or Archetypes of Christ. The entirety of the Old Testament is to prophesy and establish Christ as Messiah for God's people, and to look to the time (in the New Covenant) where the peoples' sins would be wiped clean, not just covered (as they were with the sacrificial system).

Christ is our great prophet, priest and King, and this is a great place to reference his God-given high priesthood. He is not in a priesthood of men (Levitical) but in this mysterious order based on Melchizedek.

Closing
Was Melchizedek literally Christ? It is hard to say. We can see the interesting nature of this mysterious Biblical character, and certainly draw a significant connection to Christ. Though his name is mentioned only three times Biblically, Melchizedek is an important figure pointing to Christ.

Christians serve a living God, who is active in Heaven even now on our behalf, and who understands even our most terrible temptations, as he suffered under every temptation in the fullest, yet did not give in to sin.

Related Verses (NIV-Emphasis Mine)
I will close with some verses related to this discussion, and encourage everyone to investigate for themselves this wonderful preview of Christ found in the Old Testament writing. We see that even as far back as Genesis (beginning with Genesis 3:15 and the first prophesy about Christ) that God's plan for salvation, was in place.

"And Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine: and he was [is] the priest of the most high God. And he blessed him, and said, "Blessed be Abram to the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth, And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand". And he (Abram?) gave him (Melchizedek?) tithe from all." Genesis 14:18-20


"The Lord has sworn and will not change his mind: 'You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.'" Psalm 110:4


"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven,  Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:14-16

" Every high priest is selected from among the people and is appointed to represent the people in matters related to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. This is why he has to offer sacrifices for his own sins, as well as for the sins of the people. And no one takes this honor on himself, but he receives it when called by God, just as Aaron was. In the same way, Christ did not take on himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him,
'You are my Son;
today I have become your Father.'
And he says in another place,
'You are a priest forever,
in the order of Melchizedek.' 
During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek." Hebrews 5:1-10

Out of the frying pan, Into the Day-to-Day

Offer to God the sacrifice of thanksgiving (Psalm 50:14)

Juliet and I were speaking yesterday about how difficult that past month had been. Normally, in the midst of troubles, we look ahead to upcoming events or happenings, and focus on the anticipation of future things.

We had plenty to focus on when March began, not least of which was the chance to be parents come October. Of course, our plans are not always in line with what God has for us. We both sat around yesterday feeling down. I had spent nearly $500 on brake pads, machined rotors, high mileage oil change, and bleeding brake system, and felt ripped off. Of course I hadn't thought to clarify what I wanted and get pricing first, so it is my fault for not being a more discerning consumer. My friend and I had done the brake pads on the same car 2 years ago for $35 total.

We both were home frustrated and wondering how the beginning of such a great month (March) had led to this time of frustration. As Juliet began listing things off that she "hated," I tried to point out that, while I too was frustrated by all of the bad things that had happened, we had still come out of the month with some great blessings as well.

It's true the more we think about our baby, the worse it hurts. It just seems weird to be so excited about something and to have it ripped away. We do not let go of our trust in God, but certainly the day-to-day leads to frustration. Juliet's family was supposed to be here by today as well originally. They hit a setback and as of now, I don't know when exactly they'll be able to come. This has been the same story for 2 years now, with various setbacks keeping them away. This makes me feel bad for taking Juliet away from her family in 2007, despite the blessing she is to me. It's hard to be the guy who married away the daughter.

Financially, we hit a block too with Juliet not working for 2 weeks and being out of PTO. We have had some help for which we are grateful, but the whole situation threw off any semblance of a budget I had for the year. I owe Juliet gifts promised to her months ago, and I feel bad that not only do I keep her from her family, but also I can't even get her a simple birthday gift.

I know she doesn't worry about the family thing, and we tend to be able to visit when we want. But, now with no more PTO for her, I'm not sure how to get her down there for a visit.  I want to say that in the midst of it all, we FROG (fully rely on God) but as Christians who are by no means perfect, we still get frustrated and question things sometimes.

In the midst of the list of things we were mad about, I did manage to point out some of the great blessings we experienced recently. The fact that my mom and Joe are now close by, and the fact we have consistently had a Sunday grilling dinner tradition, is a wonderful blessing that we wouldn't have anticipated even 2 months ago.

The fact that we are alive and breathing is another great blessing. I hurt for my dad and step-mom right now as she goes through some terrible lung problems. Certainly, they are in the midst of hardship as well. In retrospect, again, our troubles seem to pale in comparison. Juliet's supervisor had a daughter who had a miscarriage at the same time as Juliet, who had to receive three units of blood. We can be thankful then that Juliet only needed two, despite the trauma of that experience.

When we look around, there are always situations much worse than ours. There is this insane desire for the type of care and attention that comes from a personal tragedy. The outpouring of support from everyone during Juliet's miscarriage became a huge blessing to us. But, a week has passed and Juliet is doing better, and so the support network, as it is wont to do, fades back in to the background. It is ready at a moment's notice, and we pray there is no further need. Yet, some desire inside still longs for the acknowledgment and attention we became so reliant upon these past two weeks.

I find myself unmotivated by work. I was looking forward to some overtime and a chance to be the provider for the family as we anticipated the baby. Now overtime seems simply like more time away from Juliet. I want to be with her 24/7 now. I got used to taking care of her, and having her close by. To come back to the day-to-day of work (even at a job I love), has me in a funk. There is no driving force right now except: work-make money-pay bills-spend money-work some more.

I guess this is just a part of growing up. I can be thankful that I at least have a job that I enjoy most days. The pay is solid, and growth potential is there if I can get out of my funk and motivate myself to pursue it. I see others around me succeeding at the things I throw myself out there for, and wonder if I'm simply just in the midst of a greater plan, or if I have no actual skills for advancement.

I think in time this too will pass. Perhaps it is a lesson on living day to day and being appreciative for the daily things. We have spent a good portion of our marriage longing for future dates. We rarely just sit back and enjoy the days.

We should be mostly debt free by 2015, so that is a blessing. Had I known it would take 7 years when we got that first credit card, I would not have touched the thing. Now thousands of dollars in wasted money later, we at least have the blessing of a Christian debt counseling company that is paying off our debt at a rate faster than what we could have done ourselves. Another card just got paid down, so that's good news!

As Christians we do our best not to base our happiness on worldly things, but I think most Christians could agree that it is sometimes quite difficult. The world is all around us. Living as aliens in this world is harder as than it seems. I suppose that's why Christ asked us to take up our crosses and follow him. Or to rephrase, take up your Roman devices of torture and follow me, and be ready because this life won't be easy. Sometimes I wish he had said take up your pillows and follow me because we're going to have a nice nap. Alas, we move forward with what we have. We thank God each day for breath and life, and we strive to be more Heavenly minded, so that the trials and tribulations of this world pale in comparison to the promise we have someday in Christ. Keep us in your prayers, and thank you all again for the support in our time of need. It is appreciated more than anyone can know. Be blessed, friends!

JOY Comes in the Mourning

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. 
For we do not want you to be ignorant brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves, but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many." 2 Corinthians 1:3-11


"I will exalt you, Lord for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
Lord, my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.
You, Lord brought me up from the realm of the dead; you spared me from going down to the pit.
Sing praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his Holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Psalm 30:1-5




The funny thing about a tough week that when you look back at the events preceding it, nothing would have prepared you for the reality of what was about to transpire. The beginning of this week began normal, turned into heartache, led to trial and has finally come to a close joyfully. Some descriptions to follow may seem graphic so I apologize in advance, but Juliet and I want people to understand what happened, so that by our strength and reliance on God, we can be a witness to others in this situation. We are not fully done grieving, but we reserve that for private prayer and contemplation.

The week began on Sunday and Monday with eager anticipation for Juliet's doctor visit on Tuesday. There was talk of the joy of finding out we might be having twins, and of just seeing another ultrasound in general. The first view of our baby had been so wonderful, we expected it to be that much more so as the baby had grown.

Monday
My mom moved down on Monday to start her new job, which is a huge blessing itself. She took a leap of faith (nudged gently along by Joe, Juliet and myself) and ended up being hired at the equivalent of the exact same job she had been laid off of 6 months prior. After so much job hunting, I'm sure the blessing of God's restoration of her role that she loved so much was as joyful to her as it was to us.

We have wanted all of our family to be in Austin since first moving here, so to finally have a portion of it, we felt very blessed. We spent Monday night toying around with pictures on the internet, combining Juliet and I to see what a child might look like. We closed the night restful and ready for the work week (Tues-Sat is our work week).

Tuesday
Juliet was feeling a bit odd as we got to the doctor Tuesday, and when the doppler ultrasound didn't find signs of a heartbeat our stomachs dropped a bit. We were assured that for 11 weeks this was normal on the audio version, and needed to do an actual ultrasound to get better results.

We made our way back into the room where our hearts had first leapt for joy at the sight of our baby 3 weeks earlier. The first ultrasound had taken awhile to locate the baby. This time, the technician found it right away. My stomach felt better for a moment. Then she said she couldn't find the heartbeat. I still felt inside like this was simply normal and that it was just a machine malfunction. Then she told us our baby hadn't grown past 8 1/2 weeks (we were at week 11 by then).

My eyes welled up, but I held back tears to be strong for Juliet. I could see the look of shock in her eyes as well. The technician isn't allowed to say anything, but we both knew what was going on.

When her doctor came back in, there was no question. She explained that this was simply an unfortunate occurrence in 1 of every 5 pregnancies, and that there is no cause or explanation. The placenta had somehow detached and our baby had passed away sometime 3 weeks earlier.

We looked at each other and felt spiritually sound and peaceful. Mentally and physically; however, the worst was to come. We talked briefly without the doctor, and acknowledged that because we had not caused it, we would simply rely on God's strength to get us through.

The Christian life is not one promised free of trial, and we understood that. We accepted and began trying to find out how our baby would get out of Juliet's body. This was the part most trying for her, as there are many questions that arise when you go from having life in the womb to not.

The doctor explained that she was far enough beyond our baby's death that it shouldn't take long to miscarriage naturally. Juliet asked if it would hurt, and for the first time I noticed the doctor's look change. She said yes, and it began to dawn on us that this was going to still be more painful. The alternative, a D&C, would allow the baby to be removed via minor surgery. We opted to wait a few days to try to make a decision.

We came home and took a long walk, talked about things, and realized that despite the physical and emotional pain to come, we would rest solid on Christ and let our example be a witness to others (Christian or not). We decided to be open about what happened so that others in our situation could understand the peace that came in the midst of struggle by our faith in Christ.

Wednesday
Juliet and I continued to inform our close friends and family of what had transpired, and she made the appointment with the doctor to schedule a D&C if it had not passed naturally by Friday. We slept ok on Wednesday knowing that soon we could move on and begin grieving. We loved the baby, but knew that what was left inside Juliet was simply physical remains, and the baby's soul was already resting safe in Jesus's arms.

Thursday (Juliet's Birthday)
I don't think either of us could have predicted what happened Thursday. Juliet woke up around 6 am when my mom got up to leave for work. As soon as she left, Juliet realized she was bleeding. We figured a little was normal and still planned to make her 9:30 doctor's appointment to set up the D&C if necessary. By 7am it was a constant flow of blood and as she began to turn white, I realized (as did she) that we needed to get to the hospital.

I called the ER ahead to let them know we were supposed to have a 9:30 with her doctor, but that she was bleeding enough to warrant a quicker visit. We took some towels and drove as quickly as possible. The drive was worrisome, but I tried to be strong. She was drinking water and beginning to get some color back.

We arrived at the ER and immediately realized she was losing too much blood too fast. They got her into a room quickly.

What followed was hard to bear, seeing her pain as things passed and blood continued flowing. An hour later, she was feeling like the worst was over. She was hooked into an IV and talking naturally. The IV began making her cold, so they removed it. Her lips then turned white and her color vanished. I ran to get a nurse to check her, and they very casually examined her and put a washcloth on her face. As scary as it seemed, I assumed if the nurse was not concerned it was fine. They monitored her blood pressure over the next hour or so, and it never rose above 80/50. Her pulse stayed normal at 85 and we were assured this was a good sign. She was asked to continue waiting to see if more passed.

They brought in the ultrasound technician to check for remains and make sure that the D&C (scheduled now for 1pm) was necessary. Juliet's color returned during this time and I relaxed a little. The surgery was scheduled and we simply needed to rest and wait. This was around 11:30 and we had been in the room 3 hours.

I noticed that when they had Juliet on an IV she felt fine, but when removed, she would drop Blood pressure dramatically and turn white. What I didn't notice was that for the past 3 hours the blood had not stopped.

Around noon they came and swapped the IV one more time and added a bit of medicine to it. Immediately, things turned for the worse. Her Blood pressure was down near 60/30 though her pulse was steady at 85. Her face went pale and once again I grabbed the nurse. This time a different nurse came, and the moment she walked in the room I realized things were going very wrong. Soon 4 nurses and the ER doctor were in there hooking things into her, and talking of blood transfusion. She had ordered blood that matched Juliet earlier in case of massive blood loss, but the tech had messed up and the blood was not there. Luckily, Juliet is 0 positive and can receive 0 negative so they began hooking her up to a unit of blood to replenish. Her hemoglobin was down near 6 out of 12, and she had lost nearly 2 pints at this point.

They called the surgeon and pushed the surgery to take place immediately. They poked and prodded and hooked her to many tubes while the doctors looked less than calm. I sat in there watching helplessly, trying to give her quick glances so she would know I was still there. I prayed fervently. I knew deep down that God was in control, and prayed that He use the doctors well to heal her. I prayed for God's presence to take over the room and the surgery, so that the doctors (believers or not) would be guided through a successful surgery.

We kissed goodbye after talking with the anesthesiologist and I went into the waiting area. I called my dad and others to update them on the situation. The surgery would only take 10 minutes they had said, and because of the transfused blood, everything should go well.

I had to rely simply on faith and prayer at this point because I knew she had lost enough blood that there was a strong possibility of things going wrong.

At my weakest point, our worship leader from church showed up. I had texted him updates, but not expected him to come. It was the faith boost I needed as we sat and chatted about similar experiences. By the time the doctor came out I was feeling more secure. He said the surgery was fine, despite the blood loss leading up to it.

He said they may have to give her another unit of blood, but he hoped that wasn't the case as that carried risk of bodily rejection and in a worst case scenario, higher risk of blood diseases. Finally, they said I could see her, but that she was still in phase 1 and I could only see her a moment. We went inside and she looked much better. I told her I would run home and get some paperwork she needed, and let the dogs out while she finished recovering.

Upon arriving back, I was told she had been given the second unit of blood and that they wanted to keep her overnight for observation.

Because the hospital we were at is apparently a Christian hospital, they offer a mass burial of the remains. A chaplain conducts a memorial service for the lost little ones, and sends a card in the mail with the location, should the parents want to visit. We felt this fitting to the circumstances that our baby could still have a burial, and opted to let them do that.

We spent the night feeling grateful to God for making it through the traumatic experience. If losing the unborn child wasn't enough, I felt like I had nearly lost my wife as well. We didn't realize until afterwards that she had basically bled nonstop for 4 hours. She had lost so much blood that even after transfusing 2 units, they said she was still only an 8 out of 12 on the hemoglobin. Iron pills and prenatal vitamins for 6 weeks was the prescription to begin building her blood back.

We prayed a lot that night, and realized just how blessed we were with friend and family who were concerned for her health. I announced the basics on Facebook after we carefully decided what to say, and let our situation be open to others. The outpouring of support carried us through the night, and continues to do so even now.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday
I took off work to be with her the rest of the weekend. We slept all day Friday recuperating,  and spent time with my mom and Joe on Saturday.

Sunday Renewal
When I got to church today and reflected back on the week, I could not help but feel blessed. There are people who experience miscarriages and it destroys their relationships and their mindset. We are not saying there won't be more sadness and grieving, but we grieve with hope. We know where our baby has gone and look forward to meeting him or her someday. That comfort does not come outside of Christ. The world grieves without hope, but as Christians, our hope is in Christ and our comfort comes only from Him. This is why from the moment we found out our baby had no heartbeat on Tuesday, we still gave glory to God. We thanked God for the time we had to carry our baby. Certainly the anticipation itself was a blessing.

We reflected on how my mom and Joe were now in Austin, close by. Perhaps the knowledge of a future grandchild had been the extra boost that got them here. Either way, it fell within God's plan and God's time.

I read a post yesterday about a "God who isn't there" and it struck me as odd that people could really live and think that way. The post itself was in poor taste being posted shortly after our ordeal, as the poster knew what we had been through. That aside, everything it said was the opposite of truth. God WAS there when our baby's heart stopped beating, and God HAD a purpose we may not understand this side of Heaven.

God is sovereign over all, and a reliance on that is the only lasting comfort that can be found in tragic times like this. Do we wish we could have our baby 8 months from now? Yes, more than anything. Are we mad at God? Not in the slightest.

Baptism
People have said before that Satan tries hardest to shake the believers the closer they get to God. We certainly could have cursed God this week and turned from our faith. It would have been the easy road, and many would not have faulted us.

Instead, God had planned the week's events to lead up to the culmination of a hard week. My baptism.

When I committed to being baptized a few weeks back, I could ever have known what the circumstances would be the week before. Certainly, publicly affirming my faith in Christ via baptism would have been easy with a normal week full of blessing.

But, God decided this week would be a time of maturing for me. God wanted my public commitment to be based on true faith, unwavering even in times of tragedy. I'm not sure if the loss of our child fully coincided with this for a reason, but I can accept that if it did. I certainly came through more faithful and more committed than ever to follow Christ.

The power of the Holy Spirit is all that could cause this comfort. How else would I celebrate my savior the week after my baby was taken?

As a maturing believer, it was time to profess my faith and move forward.

Juliet went through much more physically than myself, but she is most assuredly on the same page spiritually. We do not curse God or blame God. We celebrate God. We are thankful for the time we had with our little one, and look forward to a time when we can again try to bring a life into this world. We take it one day at a time, looking to Christ for strength, and strengthening each other as best we can. We will not let our marriage fail over something we could not control. We will not lose faith in God and God's truth because we face hardship.

Trial and tribulation lead to maturity. Adversity shows us that we need help apart from ourselves. People can try to heal themselves, and they may sometimes succeed. But, how much greater to cast our burdens on the one who makes our yoke easy? How much simpler to let God do the healing? We do not cop out as people may say by living in faith. We trust God's word, and move forward. And, even in the hardest of times, we see that Joy comes in the mourning.