LeeAnn LaFave Swanson passed away on June 13th, 2020. I miss my mom. But, thankfully she left behind a lot of great memories, and many of her writings. I have been gradually going through everything to digitize and archive things that she never got around to doing.
One story I found was particularly interesting to me. It was about a time she heard a word from God while staying at a Motel in the midst of some troublesome times within the family.
I remember her discussing this when I was a teen, but at the time had just passed it off and not thought much of it. But, to read it again now, it truly does appear she had a God moment.
She titled the writing "Miracle at Motel 6". I'm going to pick and choose a bit of it to write here, as I think it's worth sharing. Some of the more personal parts I'll leave out. But, it's great example of how God can directly work in our lives, and give comfort during our times of trial. And, truly what was said to her during this event came to pass as I look back on her life as a whole.
I'll italicize her writing to help distinguish from mine here. For the portion she wrote with God speaking to her, I'll italicize and bold.
I've kept her phrasing and punctuation intact from the original, and adjusted only when it helped with the meaning. Any other errors or typos may just be due to my copying of it to this format.
Miracle at Motel 6: When God Turned the Light on for Me
Recently, I took a mini trip to get away and form a plan for my life, knowing that separation was imminent and being terribly anxious and afraid of the changes to come. I had lost my job, and gained a lot of weight back that had taken me months to lose, causing me to feel like a big failure.
I holed up in this motel room and began to read some of the several books that had been recommended to me by a Christian counselor I had seen, and by my Pastor who was trying to help me grow in my faith and get back on track Spiritually.
Once completed, and feeling a little better about myself I laid down to sleep. This night was different and I know that while many skeptics will find it difficult to believe what I am going to relate, I know that what occurred truly changed my life in the 2 minutes it lasted and I am finally at peace, strengthened in the knowledge that God never abandoned me and that He never will.
You see, I talked to God and he spoke to me. I had jokingly remarked many times that if God wanted me to do something He was going to have to tell me in an audible voice...This encounter left me no doubts that there is a plan and I am prepared to wait patiently as it unfolds.
I awoke at 4:44 (AM) which is significant in that it made me immediately think of my son Chris and smile. It's kind of a bonding experience between us that when the clock is on numbers in sequence, Chris or I will act excited and say, "Look it's 2:22." Other people look at us like, "so what?" and we just smile. Because there really is no significance to the sequenced times other than Chris and I always call each others attention to it like it's of great importance. Earlier, a bluebird had landed on the Hot hood of my van and that had reminded me of Andy for similar reasons. Bluebirds (not blue jays) are not seen that often and so this was a special comfort to me. My boys know that whenever I see a cardinal, I stop and say, "Thank You God." One day I asked them if they had anything like that, that when they saw it they knew God was close. Andy said when he sees bluebirds he thinks of God. Chris says beagles are his special "sign".
When I awoke, I spoke out loud, "Why is this happening to me? Where are you Lord? I am so scared."
I closed my eyes and settled back down hoping for sleep. Instead I opened my eyes again and that's when I saw hundred of points of light suspended and floating in my room all in the shape of little crosses. Thinking I was dreaming, I closed my eyes agin, only to open them and find the lights hadn't gone away. The room was dark, the curtains drawn tightly and no other light in the room. Then, I felt this incredible [feeling of] peace descend upon me.
I could hear my heartbeat. I could feel the blood running through my veins. I could hear traffic noises outside. I could hear the faucet dripping... it was like all of my sense were alert and awakened and I felt alive again.
To be honest, I was scared. I was alone in this room and I felt afraid of what was happening. At first I was terrified, afraid that I had died and that I wouldn't have chance to tell my loved ones goodbye.
That's when God spoke to me, and He spoke audibly to me. I heard his voice as if he were in the room with me. He said, "My child, find strength in Me. I am holding you in my arms." And that's exactly how it felt, like I was being hugged and held and comforted.
I had a pad of paper by the bedside and a pen and I reached for it and began to write. I didn't turn on the light, I couldn't see what I was writing. Most importantly, it was not my words that were flowing from my pen, but God's. As I would mentally pose a question, God would answer me.
And, in those incredible moments, it was as if a lifetime of stress, anxiety, worry, and fear melted away. I thanked God when my pen stopped. I settled back to sleep. As I settled in for what I knew would be the most restful sleep of my life, I glanced at the clock. 4:46 (AM). This encounter had lasted only 2 minutes, yet in that 2 minutes my eyes were opened, and my heart was healed of a lifetime's worth of pain!
~
Here is what God said to me:
"You need to focus on the important things in life my child. Take a bowl and fill it with fruit and put it in plain sight so that when you see it you will be reminded of the Fruit of the Spirit. These are the important things of life. You have the capacity for all these things. Many you have already. You are kind and good and faithful and gentle. Finding these within yourself and showing them to others will allow you a blissful life.
I haven't abandoned you LeeAnn, I am with you always. You want what is not possible. You cannot live a life without struggles and some pain. You will have human struggles because you must learn life's lessons. You will not be alone. I am carrying you. Let me guide you. Follow My will, not your wants. Write your experiences. Write a little everyday.
I don't promise you fame. What I do promise you is that I gave you this talent for a reason and I will help you use it to honor my name. I didn't give you your quirky, funny, witty, self to keep hidden under a lampshade. This gift is to be shared with others. Your naivety, your struggles with everyday faith through your writing will be used to witness for me in a non-threatening way to Christians and non-Christians. You have my word that you will touch many lives and thus be fulfilled. Your gift is not the same as others. All gifts come from Me and combine to minister to the world. You must do your part by using your unique gift. Many are praying for you now.
You are valuable to me, my child. You have already touched so many lives that you aren't even aware of. Child of God, you will touch many many more in your time before I call you home.
You must learn to trust in my plan for you. It is my timetable and not yours. Be patient and let me work in your life. Trust me with your fears and doubts. I will carry them for you, and allow you to be joyful in the knowledge that always you and those you love are in my arms.
Do not fear for you children. I love them as I love you. I won't permit them to suffer. They are safe with me.
Never question My will. For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Rest now my child. I am putting you down now and I know you can walk steadily on the path I have for you. There are many messengers you don't realize are there because you're too wrapped up in your pain to notice. You have wonderful people who care for you and for your family. Every dark cloud hides a sunny sky. Expect the bad to come, but never forget to look closely for the good in every situation, the lesson in every trial.
Be strong for your children no matter what happens. Show them you can handle adversity with grace because you have Me to rely on. Show them that even the hard times can be rewarding. Let them see you overcome the bitterness, the sadness, and the hopelessness you feel. When they ask how you are coping, tell them, "I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me." All of these experiences combine to make you uniquely you. Use them good and bad in your writing to inspire others. I will not let you fail.
Feel my love for you now, rest in my arms. The signs you seek are always around. You have knack for recognizing them. The crosses you see are for your comfort. The calmness you feel now is what I wish for you. Abide in me. Whenever you begin to doubt, whenever you are seized with panic, take a breath, call out to me, and I will rescue you.
You must love freely. You cannot avoid pain by avoiding love. Love those who love you. Yes, you will lose them someday. The joy is worth the pain. I will carry you through the sorrow. You cannot control the world my child, you must let it spin, and let what happens happen. Open up the parts of yourself that you have closed of in fear. Reach out to those you have kept at arm's length.
Remember to aspire to the fruits of the Spirit. Use the words I put in your heart. Live your life without regret knowing that I can handle anything, and I will never fail you. Rest now my child, for you are loved."
~~~
Reading over this now after her passing on June 13th, and the memorial we held on June 26th, I can see God's truths were fulfilled throughout her life.
Everything she wrote here from God was Biblical, and so I do believe it was inspired to prepare and encourage her.
One thing about mom was that she did run into trial more often than some folks. She had many dreams she held to, but due to various struggles was not able to fulfill. But, using her sense of humor and gifts from God, she always was able to be an encouragement to others and herself in the midst of her hardest struggles.
She was the most giving person I ever knew. It's a bit cliche saying someone will give you the shirt off of their back, but she was the embodiment of that type of selfless giving. She would rather suffer a bit if it meant someone else could feel loved or comforted.
She never did achieve fame, but God used her writings and her gifts during her life, and will continue to do so even after her passing. She had many writings, and insights that I'll share as I find them.
Most of all, this story is proof that she believed in Christ and trusted her Savior for her salvation. As the Bible says, salvation is found in no other, so she trusted this truth, and lived her life accordingly.
When we found out she had the cardiac event, I prayed God would heal her on this side of heaven as I truly believed she still had so much of His purpose to fulfill. But, seeing the abundance of what she left behind, and hearing the stories from everyone she impacted, I have no doubt that she will continue to fulfill that purpose for years to come even in her death.
Healing can come in this life, yes, but often for Christians, it comes in the next life. We are instantly healed and resting in our Savior's arms when we pass from this world to the next. That comfort and assurance can belong to anyone who believes in Christ for salvation.
"... if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9).
As you reflect on LeeAnn's story here today, and her encounter with God, I hope that wherever you are in life it is a strong witness for the power found in Christ, and the lifting of burdens only He can provide in this life. We may not be completely without suffering, but as mom found out, even in the midst of the worst suffering, God was working it out for her good.
Truly, Romans 8:28 stands true,
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
If you have never made the decision to follow Christ, I know mom would have wanted you to do so. She would love to know that she'll be able to see us again when our time to pass from this life comes. I echo that sentiment with my whole heart.
Nothing we can do on this earth can justify us before a Holy God. We are all under the penalty of sin, and without Christ, destined for God’s wrath. But the good news is that God, in His infinite mercy, became like us to live the perfect life we couldn’t achieve and to die the sacrificial death needed to cover our sins once and for all (Phil. 2:5–11). Christ took this wrath on the cross, and as Christ said, “It is finished,” the work of redemption was completed. His resurrection days later showed that He had power over death and verified His claim to be God incarnate. In accepting Christ’s call on your life and responding to his Holy Spirit’s prompting on your heart, you need only do these simple things: acknowledge that you have sinned and fallen short of God’s standard, repent of your sin, and embrace the forgiveness found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.
If you prayed for repentance and accepted Christ, you are now an adopted child of God. You are saved in that instant, though your life is to be a process of daily seeking to be like Christ. Your past habits and failures may not fall away immediately, but the Holy Spirit’s conviction now will bring a desire to turn from past behaviors and sins. Embrace the beautiful and free gift of salvation. Welcome to the family!
For more of LeeAnn's writings that she posted while alive, you can see her blog at
http://laughingwithleeann.blogspot.com
Be Blessed Friends!
