Leaving the Big City Lights

We moved back to Oklahoma in May. My Dad and step mom bought a condo, and are renting it to us. It’s much more space than we had in Austin, and much cheaper. We are also only about one minute up the road from them, so they can see grand baby Hannah anytime they would like. The game plan is finally starting to balance out and come together as well. At first, we had a lot of things still stacked against us. Being close to family was the one main positive in it all.

First, to move to Oklahoma, I had to take a pretty big salary hit. I made up for most of that by working the night shift, which pays an extra 10%. Juliet was still not working, and we still thought finding a job for her would be as easy as it was in Austin. It was not. The medical bills from Hannah’s birth were also finally starting to come due. We found ourselves (and still find ourselves to some degree), still fighting the uphill battle to stay up to date with the bills, while still having enough money to live on. In Austin, leading worship for Calvary provided a source of extra part-time income, that usually would arrive right about the time rent was due. The timing was always just right. Moving to Oklahoma, I had to move on from that position, and I hoped that I could find something similar here. Not the money part so much, as just being connected and playing worship music.

The move back to small town Oklahoma has hit me harder than Juliet, I think. I actually enjoyed living in Austin. It felt like we had accomplished something. If we could survive in the big city, surely we had made it! I also connected more at church because of the worship leading. Juliet had never liked Austin, and was increasingly dissatisfied with it as time progressed. I liked having family and friends close by. I think Juliet only really enjoyed the fact that we could occasionally hang out with my cousin Jesse and his girlfriend Rachel. Her and Rachel hit it off well when they met. Oddly, being in the “live music capital of the world”, I don’t think I ever saw more than a handful of live shows. Juliet has never liked live music, and we tended to morph into homebodies after a long day’s work. So, the transition back to small town Oklahoma, where everywhere you need to go is only 5 minutes away, has been tougher for me than her.

Admittedly, there were a lot of sad things happening the past couple of months since we moved as well. My uncle Jimmy lost his battle to cancer in May, and then my grandpa (Pepa) just recently passed away in July. Nearly 2 months apart exactly. With Jimmy’s passing, I had a lot of regrets about not seeing some of his final shows, or being around him near the end. This hit me hard, but work was busy at the time, and I did not have time to grieve properly.

I’m writing in past tense because currently things have started shaping up, or at least balancing out as I said. But, I’m still not fully adjusted to the new place. With bills piling up, death in the family, loss of salary, no job for Juliet, and just generally not having anywhere yet to connect to people, I was starting to feel pretty depressed.

The silver lining at my job was that my current manager has been by far the most supportive boss that I have ever had. My weekly one to one chats with him are immensely helpful and uplifting, and he has helped encourage me to grow within the company. I’m very thankful that he also understood when I needed some time away over the past few months to just mentally recharge, or for bereavement with the loss of family. Also, sometime back in May, he brought me some good news. They had reviewed my salary adjustment for the move, and decided to reinstate my previous salary that I had in Austin. This means I am now making what I was making before we moved. Had we not been so far behind on bills at the time, I would have been more excited, but as it is, it’s simply helped us scrape by a little bit better. Still, it was unexpected surprise that really will help in the long haul, even if the short term still looks a bit bleak. So, my manager’s encouragement, the reinstatement of my previous salary, and the prospect of leading the Worship for the Wesley Foundation in town, have added some great positives to the move. Another happy bonus with leading music at the Wesley, is that my dad will be playing alongside me. That is something I’ve wanted to have for a long time, playing music with him. It’s a little weird being the “leader” and having to lead him, but I think the dynamic will work out, and I think of him currently as more of my co-leader anyway. He’s been playing with that Wesley foundation since last year, so he is probably more versed in how things go than I am at present time.

Being close to family has been another ongoing positive. My dad and Kristen have been able to see Hannah grow from 4-6 months, and be there nearly every step of the way. My mom has also made many trips down to visit. I’m encouraged that despite my grandfather’s passing, it allowed some time to see the whole family again, even Andy and Liz who I hadn’t seen since March, when Hannah was barely 2 months old. Juliet's parents also stayed with us for a few weeks, and that was a great time. Silver linings.

The adjustment has been tricky for me, but as I say, things are beginning to shape up. I think some of it is just the natural transition that happens with any big move. It takes some time to get re-adjusted to the swing of things.

As part of my ongoing desire to learn as much as I can at work, and build my resume for future career goals there, I applied to a Sales Chat Position. It is a lateral move, but I would be switching from talking to customers on the phone, to chatting with them. I’m happy to say, I got that job, so I will be transitioning to that team starting the 18th of this month. I’m really excited for a new challenge, and I always like exploring other roles within the company. I’m gradually building my skill set, and hopefully will be able to work toward my current goal of being in a more employee facing, coaching type of role.

Moving can be tough on state of mind, finances, and a whole host of other things. But, it is usually done for a positive purpose, and that purpose has a way of shining through, to light our way. I’m enjoying cruising around the Oklahoma highways, and exploring a new town and what it has to offer. I’m anxious to be involved again in worship leading. I’m excited that we have a game plan, however painful, to start getting back on our feet financially. There is still a lot to be thankful for. I may have days where I’m feeling down about the move. I think that’s natural. I’m trying to find other ways to occupy my free time.

In other good news, Juliet now has a part-time job working with one of the Veterinary offices in town. I think it will line up with my work schedule so that we need minimal child care, though my dad has offered some help if needed. With her bringing some money in, I think we’ll be able to get back at least to a more stable place than we have been since May. Hannah is a constant source of Joy, and watching her learn and grow is always a good pick-me-up. 

I haven’t written in awhile, and it’s kind of nice just sitting here typing my thoughts again like I used to do. I’ll try to post a bit more about what’s on my mind, or about relevant topics. We are trusting God, and His provision for us, to carry us into these uncharted waters, and to help us get back on our feet again. We are constantly thankful for the blessings we already have been given, and do not want to take those for granted. It’s been 3 months, and finally Ada is starting to feel like home.