Well it's been awhile since I've had anything to write. Honestly the past few months have been a blur of planning and the fruition of those plans.
Back in April (as I think I posted on a previous post) Juliet and I decided to buy an RV, downsize our lifestyle, and give her a chance to work for her dad in Mexico helping with Manos Juntas and the mission teams.
Up until June when we left the apartment, it was weird knowing that we had gone through with the RV purchase and had it stored and waiting. Throughout mid-May to this point things have been happening quite rapidly.
On an extremely positive note, Juliet's parents both got tourist visas and can now visit the states when they want. They came up for a visit the week we were moving out of the apartment to help out, and to see Austin for the first time. It had been I think 20 + years since her dad had been in the states, and close to the same for her mom. The fun of getting to take them on a "tour" of sorts like I had done 7 years ago with Juliet was a great experience all over again. We ate at a few select restaurants and saw some sights.
From the time Juliet went to Mexico to start helping out around May 16th, I had really only visited her twice prior to their June 9th visit. It had already become a situation where she really was in Mexico more than here. This was the plan so I had (and have) no issue with this. It's weird to sit back and remember though realizing she was gone a couple weeks when we hadn't been really apart since prior to being married in 2007. Most of our time has been spent together.
When they left after the June visit, my dad (in a pleasant turn of events) made a visit to see me (and her parents before they left), and also help some with the RV move. Though we spent most of the time moving the furniture to storage and installing a new fridge on the RV, the time felt very special to me. It has been awhile since just my dad and I have done any activity together the two of us. It was strenuous work, but I knew by time he was offering to patch up a part of the roof as well that he enjoyed the time as well, despite the hard work.
We managed to catch the last few innings of a baseball game to unwind, and I spent the night at his hotel room for one last glimpse of civilization before the final commitment of the RV living. By this time it was livable and ready to go.
Once he left, I had a normal 4 day work week in which I initially as dreading being alone again. One solid week of close family had warmed me back to the idea of the togetherness, and being on my own again seemed unappealing. My mom and Joe ended up moving back to Oklahoma that week; however, and in a nice surprise she stayed at the RV with me a couple nights while their RV was transported.
This represented really the last remnant of family nearby for what I knew would be a week or so at a time. It was a change that we had chosen, but that seemed all the more real the first night that I slept in the RV bed alone as Juliet lay in Mexico surround by her family. My family and come for a final visit in a way before heading back to Oklahoma.
That week went by well enough, and during this whole period of Juliet being gone, I had made a few trips to Mexico to visit and see her. There were probably only two full weeks that I've been totally by myself here.
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This past week, Juliet and I just got back from our 10 day anniversary vacation, and again the time spent immersed in family only made the upcoming days afterwards alone feel that much more quiet. I actually like being alone, and I typically can get a lot more done in terms of "Chris projects," that I always seem to have in endless supply. But, there are moments when I still miss company.
What occurs to me in the midst of all of this is that though our plan is playing out exactly as expected, when I think of what's on the horizon, for the first time in awhile I'm clueless. I have been working on Sundays since May and haven't been to church since Easter, which bums me out after having been active leading worship in one church on Saturdays and enjoying being in the congregation at our home church on Sundays. I was immersed in church life and now that I don't have it. I do miss it.
I'm praying my 4x10 shift which is great for visiting Mexico will somehow move to a Sun-Tues off schedule instead of its current Mon-Wed off.
This lack of fellowship which I had become so accustomed to only weighs on me in the quiet hours. I stay fairly occupied usually with TV and video games and the day-to-day of work. It's weird that when I am in town on one of my 3 days weekends if I really think about it, I don't think I speak more than two or three words out loud the whole time. Even running errands I rarely have to speak. I get to work on Thursday having been mostly alone with my thoughts for 3 days, and the first "Thank you for calling," is always raspy and new..as if I had gone without speaking for much longer than 3 days. I joke about that actually because it is weird to me, but in a way, something different about which to think.
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Going forward, Juliet and her dad will begin speaking to churches in the states to help the ministry in Mexico, and this means they will be up here more often than at present time. I've left the puppies with her in Mexico the last couple of weeks because we found out crossing them at the border is easier than expected, and I felt like she would like their company. Turns out I miss them more than I thought I would too. But when they're here, the extra work of walking them seems frustrating.
The point of this post, other than playing a bit of catch up with those who may still read it, is to simply state that I feel again somewhat stuck and unsure of what is next, but ultimately positive.
Juliet is confident God has plans in store for us, but I want to know that our RV plan was exactly where we needed things to go. People keep complimenting me on the "sacrifice" I am making to let Juliet fulfill her dream of working with the mission teams, but in reality, I don't feel like it's a sacrifice. I've been trying to find a way for her to do that again since the day we got married. She knows it's her calling, and the fact we can finally allow her to do that is a blessing to me, no matter how much we miss each other. Actually the absence makes our time together that much more special now. It's like dating again in a way because each moment together is more precious, as the time apart brings the longing that comes from early love. We were probably getting complacent in the relationship to a degree anyway, and this has added a renewed energy and spark.
I still don't know why I was given the opportunity to lead worship and pursue theological matters so fully, only to have the proverbial rug pulled from me when the work schedule changed on me, but I suppose the time will come to figure that out. Perhaps, as I had wanted for so long, this is Juliet's time to fulfill her calling. I have had so many opportunities to do so up to this point, it's time to let her have some time as well.
Honestly, at work I am performing better than ever being back on days and a consistent schedule, so I suppose in that respect things are going well.
And, we both love the RV. Well, I love it and Juliet said she likes it and is comfortable in it too. It's maximum usage of space without excess. It's comfortable living without waste, and that aspect of it is appealing. It feels like a preparation of sorts for future circumstances that might require being out of comfort zones. Maybe mission work, who knows?
In any case, that is the "news" and probably why I hadn't taken the time to post much lately. My theological interest in terms of study and growth may have waned a bit due to the lack of being around church as much, which always boosted my interest. God knows when the time will come to renew my energies on that front. For now, as before, I pray His will be done in both our lives as we begin this new, unfamiliar, but ultimately promising chapter of our marriage. And perhaps it's no coincidence that in the 7th year the major changes have come. The number "7" has played a big role since being married on 7/7/07. It's a year of change and growth, and I think we'll come out on the other side better for it.
Pray for us both as we seek God's will in all of this, and pray for our finances as we transition into a period of downsizing both on bills, but also on income. We are truly living within our means, and I would love the opportunity for the part of the plan to start setting money aside to come to fruition, but this transitional period is showing us that sometimes "just enough," is enough. A good lesson, and one I think we are happy to embrace at present time.
I will try to post more often as in previous months as I am led. Hopefully this keeps my main readers satisfied for present time.
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