Focused on the Truth

Let me share my heart.

In 2012 I was theologically on fire for God and focused on writing to share His truths as best as I was able. Often in my life I have hit these "seasonal highs" for lack of better terminology. It seems every time though, it gradually gets stolen away. My focus shifts, or someone challenges something I say, and being unable to persuade my cause, I lose heart.

In 2013, one of my toughest years so far, I still began with an intense focus on God. In the midst of our heartache, I confirmed my commitment publicly by being baptized and acknowledging Christ as Lord formally (though I would argue my justification in Christ had come before this time).

As I learned more about the Bible and Christ, I drew ever closer to God. Yet, somewhere along the way I again lost focus. I hit a dry patch and stopped writing and studying. 

It's been said, and I would argue this is Biblical, that the closer we draw to God, often the more attacks we experience spiritually. Paul says in Ephesians 6 that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but spiritual powers. Satan has managed to snatch My focus a number of times in my life.

A few years back, I helped lead a lecture on false gospels, and had done immense prep beforehand, as it was my first public teaching of God. Almost immediately after, though, I still recall I hit another dry period. All the intense focus leading up to that lecture disappeared, or I'm inclined to see now, was snatched.

I have been in positions of service within various churches (often on praise teams or through missions) over the years, and it seems after a season each time, my focus is again snatched.

I do not believe it is evidence of not having been saved, as I have that assurance, so diligently sought over the years. I know my purpose in life is to glorify God. Yet, I wonder sometimes why I have not been more bold in speaking of the Gospel.

In writing, with time, I present ideas that upon re-reading often seem as if someone else was holding the pen (typing in this age). I look back on some of what I wrote and I can see God was working through my writing to help convey His message.

Lest I sound arrogant, I am not meaning to imply that my words are "God breathed" or "Scripture," only that God seems to have given me a gift of teaching, that I tend to display better in writing.

Over the years some things that have held me back are, increased distraction from Television, video games and other entertainment. Also, fear of upsetting the family balance by challenging some of the preconceived notions my family holds towards Christ. And, wishing to see many friends understand the truth. For there is no denying the truth of the Gospel.

My commitment to its truth is strong, yet I fear conversations with those who don't believe. I fear conversations with family members who claim belief, but show none of the fruit of true belief.

The term Christian is already being used in many apostate churches, and congregations which have long since fallen asleep. God's pressing on my heart has been to earnestly seek to make sure my brothers and sisters claiming Christ really understand what that means, and really have given their lives to Him. But, they call me arrogant. They ask how I know that "my way" is correct, as if I was preaching some Gospel I made up! I preach Christ and Him crucified. I preach repentance and faith in Christ as the only means by which anyone can be saved from the wrath of God. I wish Christians understood that they are saved from the wrath of the very creator of whom they sing. Had He not come among us and died the sacrificial death required for our sin, we would all be without hope, destined for separation and hell. But God, in His great mercy, put on flesh and willingly laid aside some of His power to live a sinless life, that he might be presented on the cross before Holy God as a sacrifice that could cleanse our sins once and for all. God's wrath was upon Him at the cross, yet He saw it through to completion, that we might become His adopted sons and daughters. That we might have His righteousness credited to us, so that our lives made up wholly of sin, storing up wrath against ourselves for judgment day, could be created anew, born again, and be covered by the righteousness of Christ, second person of our triune God, the agent of creation who now holds it together by His power and majesty, the King above all Kings.

I do not want to lose focus. May the enemy not steal away my passion in this hour, or those to come. May I be a vessel to bring the Gospel to those who have not heard it, and even to those who claim to know it and do not. So, that on the day of judgment, I might stand before Him and hear, "well done good and faithful servant..."

May I be bold, without fear or wavering spirit. May I not be caught up in the distractions of this world. May the Holy Spirit call His elect by words given through me,that those who were called might be chosen and that the conviction of the Spirit might renew their hearts for Christ.

May those whom I love as family and friends have willing ears, and may their hearts be opened to the truth, as the blind man regains his sight, so may they see God's truth anew.

Would that those closest to me not deter me from whatever God will place before me to accomplish. Would that they support me and offer what comfort the Spirit doesn't already provide.

For I am convinced, though day jobs may be needed to eat and get by, that no man or woman can have any greater calling than to live for the Lord and seek His will and the service which He has prepared for them from the foundation of the world. 

As the enemy's hold gets stronger on this earth, as governments topple and churches go apostate, may Christ's true body rise up to proclaim the good news to the ends of the earth, until the number of chosen has been fulfilled.

May we wish for His kingdom to come, even in our own lifetime. What a joyous day to be carried off in the Lord. Yet, even as those who hoped for that day before us did not live to see it, may we not give up on our earthly work in the meantime.

May I heed the Spirit's direction, and speak boldly the good news of Christ's resurrection. May it all be so. No more distraction, no loss of focus, and no fear of those who have no power over my body or soul, in Jesus name, join with me please. Amen.