Lookin' for a Healin'

My last posts, for those who have read them, are a product of in depth (for me anyway) Bible study, combined with insight from various Pastors, prayed about for spiritual leading, and posted for someone out there who needs it. They have not been for me, or of me, but rather for whoever God is trying to reach out there.

 Allow me today, to play the part of skeptic, or at least confused individual, and possibly gain some insight from people who know more about this topic than I do.

 Today at church, for the second time in the past few months, a special guest Evangelist came. Now, in particular, I like his messages leading up to the end of the service when the healing is set to begin. I truly believe in supernatural healing. Where I am finding problems is how I feel when I see people getting "healed" in a church service one week, and back to normal the next. Perhaps the healing is meant to be a temporary relief of chronic back pain or something, but to see women in wheelchairs get up and walk around, only to walk right back to the wheel chair, makes me wonder if it isn't meant to be more of a temporary thing.

This evangelist has great stories of miraculous healings that I truly believe, but the two times he's come to church, the people claiming healing, seem to be the same the next week. There is no jubilance or celebration, that I can see, after the initial experience. Now, as a faithful man of God, I would not pretend to question the mind of God, and it is quite possible these individuals (maybe they can confirm), are truly being healed fully. It's a great aspect of Christian life, but one that I don't' feel is required on a salvation level, and has potential to either further the faith, or turn non-believers away when they see a woman walk, only to sit back down.

 This is going to sound uber skeptical coming from the guy who has been preaching in blogs the past few months, but I am really just seeking understanding. I know some of you out there have had miraculous healings, but can you confirm that it was permanent? When I prayed today for better vision healing, was my request too selfish? If the deaf are healed of deaf ears, couldn't a guy with glasses his whole life, get better vision?

 I say it not cynically, but inquisitively, and I don't mean to call anyone's experiences into question. I just don't understand how this man who has great evangelical stories of healings, comes to town, heals, and then two weeks later, everything is back to normal. I would think there would be a more lasting evidence of his time there. Maybe there is. I don't know everyone in the church, and only a couple of those claiming healing. Maybe I need to be asking them. I talked to another guy at church about it, sensing he felt the same way, and got the same kind of response. I don't think either of us understand it.

I believe in the supernatural power of God, but maybe I'm just not in the right place to be physically experiencing it, as manifested by tongues and healings. Everyone else in church seems to be. Maybe I want it too much. Maybe I long for that experience of being truly filled with the spirit in a moment of pure uninhibited supernatural power. I have experienced God in many ways, but manifestation of tongues or healing are not one of them. That's not to say it can't happen. If I have faith, and am supposed to have that, it will come when it comes. In the meantime, I just wish someone who gets healed in one of those services, could come forward and explain to me, how they know. I kind of get put off because the evangelist seemed to ignore those with lesser issues in favor of those with "Fully deaf" ears, or other ailments that were fully manifested. It's almost like he is picking and choosing.

One gentelmen got up to say he was filled with the spirit and the evangelist said "I didn't ask that, I asked who has been HEALED!" Maybe it's a healer thing. Maybe they are seeking those who can be healed the greatest to best show God's power. I would like to think my friends' feet/daibetes were actually healed, but I guess without asking I won't know. And what if the pain comes back later? Does that mean it wasn't at least temporarily relieved? Jesus healed fully and totally. Jesus' apostles healed fully and totally. Do we still have that capacity in our day? With such a wicked world, I wouldn't be surprised if God pulled that power from us for the time being...after all...even the believers like me, are having trouble believing in this.

 In honest inquisitiveness, seeking guidance from you Lord
-Chris