In the midst of the first few chapters of Numbers we are treated to some of the harder to read chapters in the Bible. The census taking among the Israelites, for those of us with short attention spans can sometimes seem less interesting than other chapters of the Bible. Still within the span of 2 chapters, it manages to pull the reader back in rather quickly.
I speak of Numbers 11 and 12. This blog will be specifically related to an incident in Numbers 12, but it's important to note that prior to this story, we have just seen God's anger against some of the Israelites play out in a rather firey form.
Once Moses prays to quench the fire, the LORD stops it and we proceed on to Numbers chapter 12.
Now one would think after the experience in the previous chapter, the people would have learned not to complain about Moses or their situation. But, now we find some of those closest to him, Aaron and Miriam, speaking ill of the woman Moses had married.
Miriam questions whether the LORD has spoken only through Moses. This is an envious conversation, and she is basically wondering why the LORD doesn't speak to everyone as He does to Moses.
"And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? and the LORD heard it.' Numbers 12:2
So, now you have God who hears this conversation, and in what I like to think of in terms of a parent about to scold the bickering siblings, calls all three of them into the tabernacle of the congregation for a meeting. The term "family meeting" comes to mind for me here.
God begins by saying that if there is a prophet in the camp, He will make it known to the prophet. In the case of Moses, God points out that this is not the method by which He speaks to Moses. Moses is set apart by God for special discussion.
"My servant Moses is not so, who is faithful in all mine house. With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches..." Numbers 12:7
God's anger towards Miriam and Aaron is kindled at this point and He departs and the cloud departs from the tabernacle.
I can see Miriam and Aaron simultaneously breathing a sigh of relief here thinking they got away with their sin of gossip and envy. Not so.
God punishes Miriam with Leprosy. Miriam and Aaron repent of their sin beseeching Moses to speak to God on her behalf. Moses obliges and speaks to God on their behalf to effectively reduce her punishment. Miriam gets off with only a 7 day leprosy sentence, to be fulfilled outside of the camp.
-----------------------------------
This is where I woudld like to offer some practical advice and thoughts based on the above stories. We see a couple things happening here.
1.Sin will always have consequences- Even with Christ's forgivness for us, there is always consequence to sin. Christians cannot just go around murdering people and then praying for forgiveness. If, God forbid, a Christian kills someone, they may be forgiven in Christ, but will likely be in prison their whole life, or even pay with their life. Will they miss out on Heaven? If they are truly saved and in Christ then no. But they will have a fairly miserable earthly existence at that point--filled with regret and guilt.
2. Our consequences subsequently can affect large numbers of people- IN the case of Miriam, her being outside the camp for 7 days causes all 600,000 plus Israelites to remain in that location until her punishment is fulfilled.
Imagine Miriam coming back into camp on the 7th day with everyone whispering, "there's Miriam, she's why we haven't moved in 7 days." The After consequence of the consequence of sin is that your sin can have dramatic effect on any number of people--in this case a MULTITUDE.
God loves us and may discipline us for growth- IN this story it would be easy for a non-Christian to view God as "mean spirited or harsh." But look at your own family. If you sin or do something wrong, parents punish as well. God is our great Father in Heaven, so Christians should understand that He may discipline us from time to time to help our spiritual growth. I like the word discipline because it has disciple as it's root. I think to be great disciples, we need pruning and discipline from time to time. Otherwise, we show no growth.
God's long suffering is something we should all be thankful for. The Israelites were a "stiff necked" people during this time, and always had something to complain about. Just one chapter after this, we see the men of the armies cowering at the thought of conquering a land that God had already promised them they would conquer. Friends if God says you will do something, you can rest assured He will bring you through it.
Miriam and Aaron were two people very close to one of God's favorite people Moses. Yet even they saw temptation and sin. Friends we are all sinners who have fallen short of God's glory.
God has known us since before we even came to be. He says in Jeremiah that even in the womb, he knew us and his plans for us. Salvation through Christ is a free gift. It is nothing we can earn, or even actively seek. If you feel the call of Christ in your life, rest assured, He longs for you to accept His gift.
You may have strayed and are unsure if God can take you back. He longs to take you back. You were set apart for Him and to do good works through Him. Some people may resist long enough that they become resistent to the Gospel. For them I say that if God has already decided in the time before time began that you would be set apart for him, then you will eventually realize and come to Christ.
For those of us who have felt the call of the good shepard and turned to Him already, we can rest assured in our salvation. He chose us for Himself before time began, in eternity past, and we have assurance that our shepard will never leave His sheep.
Salvation is available to all, but not all will accept it. If you are unsure, or on the edge, I invite you to speak with someone about your doubts. Be honest with God. He knows you may have questions. Just know that if you pray to God in the name of His son, your prayers will be answered. Keep in mind though this may not be on a time frame you are expecting. Jesus spent 30 years preparing for a 3 year ministry. We are on God's time, not our own, and sometimes it may take years for prayers to be answered.
Christ took on all the sin of the world so that we may have eternal life. This was done out of pure LOVE for a fallen world. He is a Father longing to bring his Sons and daughters home. He is a shepard searching for his lost sheep.
Listen for the call...return to your Father in Heaven. His love knows know bounds. His mercy is never failing. His grace covers all.
Blessings my Friends :)
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Sunday, February 26, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Pay Attention for Retention
Hello all, I know it's been awhile. Apparently I had the discipline (root word disciple..nice) to write on a Proverb a day for every day in January, but not enough to continue blogging. I have wanted to do so, but had not thought of anything worth writing about lately.
I was thinking tonight about a personal issue I've began (begun?) to notice. Let me give some background first.
I buy a lot of Christian books. I buy them on a number of subjects that I feel will help develop my understanding of God's word (though admittedly reading the "Word" would likely help as well). It started after reading the Left Behind series back in high school. From there it progressed to scholarly books on the book of Revelation and its many viewpoints. This took me back to the Gospels to find the heart of my faith and Jesus teachings--though the first time I believe I skimmed through pretty quickly.
Over time I've picked up books on everything from the Afterlife for Christians (speculation based on the Bible verse that speak to it) to Christian Relationship advice books.
In addition, recently, I've begun (began?) listening to Christian preachers on Podcasts and Videos.
I do this in part to continually grow my faith and develop my belief system, and in part to learn what I need to know to be a good witness for Christ.
Here's my problem. I cannot seem to retain all of the cool things I read/hear/watch. When someone asks something that I know I've found the answer to, I cannot for the life of me articulate it. Most non-believing friends will not be willing to sit through the same podcasts and videos to see the point I wanted to make (though I encourage them to do so) so I'm left with nothing to say, and no effective witness. It drives me crazy.
I know why I believe what I believe and I know why I know Christianity is the correct and only path to saving grace. We are all under common grace (i.e. God graces the just and unjust with life, food, rain, sun, etc...) Saving grace comes through Christ alone.
Now according to a great sermon I'm watching by Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church, there are 14 ways of breaking down saving grace--and I've agreed with them all, but I have no idea how to pass that info along to people who might benefit from the message.
In a sinful way I want everyone to agree with me...but the less sinful aspect of that is I desperately desire that all could come to know the joy that I know through salvation in Christ.
Now, can I articulate that?....NO! And I hate that I can't. I use the prayer "speak to me and speak through me" often, and it does help. But, I just can't retain all the great information that I want to pass along.
I could list the many podcasts, videos and sermons I want people to hear. Sermons that would likely change people's lives and minds...powerful messages that were I not already a Christian would turn me strongly that direction no matter how anti-Christian I felt.
I cannot force people to see these things and listen to them. I 'm happy when people do. I think even if some people do listen and watch they won't say anything about it, and I wish they would. I would like to know that they got something out of it...or at least why they did not agree.
This is not invitation to debate theology, but I do care about why people disagree sometimes with things I feel strongly about. I guarantee that I won't be able to articulate any rebuttal to that though--no matter how much my heart desires to do so.
So, in closing let me list some helpful Christian resources I have found lately. They may not appeal to everyone, but I would encourage everyone to at least give them a try. These are things I want to say but cannot find the words. Better speakers than me have found the words though--and articulate nicely the faith and why it truly is the greatest gift ever given (saving grace).
My Current favorite Resources
*Updated*
Life Church Leander- http://www.yourlifechurch.org
-We began attending church here in October of 2012 and have found a great church home. The sermons are engaging, and the teaching is Biblically sound. Pastor Brian Lightsey's past sermons are in the sermon section of the Website.
Mike Fabarez (Focal Point Ministries)-http://www.focalpointministries.org-
Pastor of Compass Bible Church in California, Mike gives great scholarly teachings relevant to believers. His straightforward willingness to tackle even the tough issues of faith through in depth discussions, makes him a great resource for a more in depth Bible study.
Dr. R.C. Sproul-http://www.ligonier.org/about/rc-sproul/
Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill- http://marshill.com/media/sermons
-A Biblically sound pastor out of Seattle, WA with a younger congregation (hence his casual dress) and a very honest and open attitude about things of the faith. Not afraid to speak his mind...which can be helpful for non-believers who have always had everything sugar coated for them.
http://marshill.com/media/religionsaves/grace - An excellent approach to common and saving grace
Dr. R.T. Kendall- http://rtkendallministries.com/
His podcasts are available online and in particular his question and answer sessions in Britain were very enlightening. He used to preach at Westminster Abbey in England.
I hope that you will all take some time out of your schedules to check these resources out. They each offer different, but equally Biblical perspectives that give great insight into our faith.
God Bless
I was thinking tonight about a personal issue I've began (begun?) to notice. Let me give some background first.
I buy a lot of Christian books. I buy them on a number of subjects that I feel will help develop my understanding of God's word (though admittedly reading the "Word" would likely help as well). It started after reading the Left Behind series back in high school. From there it progressed to scholarly books on the book of Revelation and its many viewpoints. This took me back to the Gospels to find the heart of my faith and Jesus teachings--though the first time I believe I skimmed through pretty quickly.
Over time I've picked up books on everything from the Afterlife for Christians (speculation based on the Bible verse that speak to it) to Christian Relationship advice books.
In addition, recently, I've begun (began?) listening to Christian preachers on Podcasts and Videos.
I do this in part to continually grow my faith and develop my belief system, and in part to learn what I need to know to be a good witness for Christ.
Here's my problem. I cannot seem to retain all of the cool things I read/hear/watch. When someone asks something that I know I've found the answer to, I cannot for the life of me articulate it. Most non-believing friends will not be willing to sit through the same podcasts and videos to see the point I wanted to make (though I encourage them to do so) so I'm left with nothing to say, and no effective witness. It drives me crazy.
I know why I believe what I believe and I know why I know Christianity is the correct and only path to saving grace. We are all under common grace (i.e. God graces the just and unjust with life, food, rain, sun, etc...) Saving grace comes through Christ alone.
Now according to a great sermon I'm watching by Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church, there are 14 ways of breaking down saving grace--and I've agreed with them all, but I have no idea how to pass that info along to people who might benefit from the message.
In a sinful way I want everyone to agree with me...but the less sinful aspect of that is I desperately desire that all could come to know the joy that I know through salvation in Christ.
Now, can I articulate that?....NO! And I hate that I can't. I use the prayer "speak to me and speak through me" often, and it does help. But, I just can't retain all the great information that I want to pass along.
I could list the many podcasts, videos and sermons I want people to hear. Sermons that would likely change people's lives and minds...powerful messages that were I not already a Christian would turn me strongly that direction no matter how anti-Christian I felt.
I cannot force people to see these things and listen to them. I 'm happy when people do. I think even if some people do listen and watch they won't say anything about it, and I wish they would. I would like to know that they got something out of it...or at least why they did not agree.
This is not invitation to debate theology, but I do care about why people disagree sometimes with things I feel strongly about. I guarantee that I won't be able to articulate any rebuttal to that though--no matter how much my heart desires to do so.
So, in closing let me list some helpful Christian resources I have found lately. They may not appeal to everyone, but I would encourage everyone to at least give them a try. These are things I want to say but cannot find the words. Better speakers than me have found the words though--and articulate nicely the faith and why it truly is the greatest gift ever given (saving grace).
My Current favorite Resources
*Updated*
Life Church Leander- http://www.yourlifechurch.org
-We began attending church here in October of 2012 and have found a great church home. The sermons are engaging, and the teaching is Biblically sound. Pastor Brian Lightsey's past sermons are in the sermon section of the Website.
Mike Fabarez (Focal Point Ministries)-http://www.focalpointministries.org-
Pastor of Compass Bible Church in California, Mike gives great scholarly teachings relevant to believers. His straightforward willingness to tackle even the tough issues of faith through in depth discussions, makes him a great resource for a more in depth Bible study.
Dr. R.C. Sproul-http://www.ligonier.org/about/rc-sproul/
He has some great messages as well, and though I don't fully understand the reformed/calvinist mindset at times...the Bible based teaching is still relevant and engaging. His focuses on the sovereignty and holiness of God are a refreshing break from the sugar-coated God we hear about so often, and a more realistic portrayal of our sin nature and how that affects our relationship with God.
Pastor Paul Sheppard- http://podcast.pastorpaul.net/
-A great resource for everyone. His preaching style is casual but convicting and he is quite humorous at times. These podcasts have been truly helpful to myself and Juliet lately in growing our faith.
Pastor Paul Sheppard- http://podcast.pastorpaul.net/
-A great resource for everyone. His preaching style is casual but convicting and he is quite humorous at times. These podcasts have been truly helpful to myself and Juliet lately in growing our faith.
Mark Driscoll and Mars Hill- http://marshill.com/media/sermons
-A Biblically sound pastor out of Seattle, WA with a younger congregation (hence his casual dress) and a very honest and open attitude about things of the faith. Not afraid to speak his mind...which can be helpful for non-believers who have always had everything sugar coated for them.
http://marshill.com/media/religionsaves/grace - An excellent approach to common and saving grace
Dr. R.T. Kendall- http://rtkendallministries.com/
His podcasts are available online and in particular his question and answer sessions in Britain were very enlightening. He used to preach at Westminster Abbey in England.
I hope that you will all take some time out of your schedules to check these resources out. They each offer different, but equally Biblical perspectives that give great insight into our faith.
God Bless
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
In the Beginning...
I decided to break from my Old/New Testament daily readings today and browse through the Book of John. I had heard it is the best place for new believers to start, and I know I'm not to the point of pastor level belief yet, so I thought it could be enlightening. What I discovered surprised me.
As I Read John 1 Verse 1, the phrase "in the Beginning" struck me. I had heard it before. I recalled back to Genesis 1:1, and it clicked. Theses two books have some striking parallels between them, and I may have gained new insight (at least in my opinion) of the symbol of Jacob's Ladder. I am no scholar or preacher, but I took some notes to help me recall. I'll speak to that momentarily.
Genesis 1:1- In the Beginning, God created the heavens and the earth
John 1:1- In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
The greek for this "word" translates as logos. In college and even now I don't fully understand the whole logos, pathos and ethos thing, but I know it is significant to note that "The Word" in this situation is referencing Christ.
Now look at the two together. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. They coincide rather nicely--and coincidentally (or perhaps not) represent two of the most key Books in the Bible- one from Old Testament, one from New Testament.
I began reading further, curious as to what I might find...
Genesis 2:3- And God blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it; because that in it He rested from all his work which God had created and made.
John 1:3- All things were made through Him; and without him was not anything made that hath been made.
A further confirmation of the role of the triune God in creation of all that exists. God, Christ and the Holy Spirit existed three in one since the creation. In the beginning...
With my appetite for more interesting parallels not satisfied, I dug a bit deeper....
The following one seemed similar to me at first, but I realize in Genesis it is speaking of creating man and in John it was referencing life being in Christ and the life being the light of man--still the man and creation theme caused me to put them side by side.
Genesis 2:7- And the Lord God made man from the dust of the earth, breathing into him the breath of life: and man became a living soul
John 1:4- In Him was life; and the life was the light of man
Life through Christ-the light of man
I read further through John and saw a very profound statement to me.
John 1:10-11- He was in the world (God/Christ), and the world was made through Him, and the world knew Him not. He cam unto HIS own, and they that were HIS own received Him not.
This made me sad. Imagine you created an existence. A creation with the capacity to love the creator. It was their decision ultimately, but being the embodiment of love (amongst other things), there was a real desire to have the creation respond to your love.
Now imagine you visit creation, in the flesh, fully God while fully man, and they reject you. Even when they see you perform miracles to prove your divinity, even when they see proof that you are the creator, they prefer to continue in their own ways.
If you go to visit your children and they reject you because they would rather not have to answer to authority, would that hurt your heart? IF they reject you because they want their way to be the right way, despite the truth, wouldn't it hurt?
I see pain in this verse. Pain at how far the creation He loved so dearly had fallen, how far WE have fallen. We rejected Him. He came to save us from our iniquity, and we crucified Him for it. We denied outright truth in pursuit of lies. And we still do this today, sadly.
Finally, I approached the end of John Chapter 1 and noticed a phrase that reminded me something else from Genesis (though later in the book). A reference to angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.
Genesis 28:12- And he (Jacob) dreamed. And behold, a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to Heaven. And behold, the angels of God ascending and descending on it (the ladder).
John 1:51- And He (Jesus) saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye shall see the Heavens opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.
Was Jacob's "ladder" a vision of Christ? I don't know, but I find it a striking parallel.
This is what really proves the Bible to be all it claims. Just because one verse doesn't always make sense, doesn't mean you cannot find it's parallel, or its descriptor, somewhere else in the text. Context is everything. Perceived contradictions in content have all but been dismissed by scholars who know to read the Bible as one unit, not as individual Books with no connection. The story runs throughout, hundreds of authors over thousands of years. We can see here that even the first book Genesis, and the 4th Book of the New Testament, so many years later, still hold true to God's claim that He is Who He is. God was there at the beginning, God created us and all that is around us. He sent His Son-as a sacrfice, to cleanse us of our sin. We rejected His Son---though it was all part of the soverign plan, it is still a painful thought.
I put Christ on the Cross. You put Christ on the Cross. He still loves us. We need only call on him, and seek his forgiveness, purchased by His Blood, for you and for me.
As I Read John 1 Verse 1, the phrase "in the Beginning" struck me. I had heard it before. I recalled back to Genesis 1:1, and it clicked. Theses two books have some striking parallels between them, and I may have gained new insight (at least in my opinion) of the symbol of Jacob's Ladder. I am no scholar or preacher, but I took some notes to help me recall. I'll speak to that momentarily.
Genesis 1:1- In the Beginning, God created the heavens and the earth
John 1:1- In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.
The greek for this "word" translates as logos. In college and even now I don't fully understand the whole logos, pathos and ethos thing, but I know it is significant to note that "The Word" in this situation is referencing Christ.
Now look at the two together. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. They coincide rather nicely--and coincidentally (or perhaps not) represent two of the most key Books in the Bible- one from Old Testament, one from New Testament.
I began reading further, curious as to what I might find...
Genesis 2:3- And God blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it; because that in it He rested from all his work which God had created and made.
John 1:3- All things were made through Him; and without him was not anything made that hath been made.
A further confirmation of the role of the triune God in creation of all that exists. God, Christ and the Holy Spirit existed three in one since the creation. In the beginning...
With my appetite for more interesting parallels not satisfied, I dug a bit deeper....
The following one seemed similar to me at first, but I realize in Genesis it is speaking of creating man and in John it was referencing life being in Christ and the life being the light of man--still the man and creation theme caused me to put them side by side.
Genesis 2:7- And the Lord God made man from the dust of the earth, breathing into him the breath of life: and man became a living soul
John 1:4- In Him was life; and the life was the light of man
Life through Christ-the light of man
I read further through John and saw a very profound statement to me.
John 1:10-11- He was in the world (God/Christ), and the world was made through Him, and the world knew Him not. He cam unto HIS own, and they that were HIS own received Him not.
This made me sad. Imagine you created an existence. A creation with the capacity to love the creator. It was their decision ultimately, but being the embodiment of love (amongst other things), there was a real desire to have the creation respond to your love.
Now imagine you visit creation, in the flesh, fully God while fully man, and they reject you. Even when they see you perform miracles to prove your divinity, even when they see proof that you are the creator, they prefer to continue in their own ways.
If you go to visit your children and they reject you because they would rather not have to answer to authority, would that hurt your heart? IF they reject you because they want their way to be the right way, despite the truth, wouldn't it hurt?
I see pain in this verse. Pain at how far the creation He loved so dearly had fallen, how far WE have fallen. We rejected Him. He came to save us from our iniquity, and we crucified Him for it. We denied outright truth in pursuit of lies. And we still do this today, sadly.
Finally, I approached the end of John Chapter 1 and noticed a phrase that reminded me something else from Genesis (though later in the book). A reference to angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.
Genesis 28:12- And he (Jacob) dreamed. And behold, a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to Heaven. And behold, the angels of God ascending and descending on it (the ladder).
John 1:51- And He (Jesus) saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye shall see the Heavens opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.
Was Jacob's "ladder" a vision of Christ? I don't know, but I find it a striking parallel.
This is what really proves the Bible to be all it claims. Just because one verse doesn't always make sense, doesn't mean you cannot find it's parallel, or its descriptor, somewhere else in the text. Context is everything. Perceived contradictions in content have all but been dismissed by scholars who know to read the Bible as one unit, not as individual Books with no connection. The story runs throughout, hundreds of authors over thousands of years. We can see here that even the first book Genesis, and the 4th Book of the New Testament, so many years later, still hold true to God's claim that He is Who He is. God was there at the beginning, God created us and all that is around us. He sent His Son-as a sacrfice, to cleanse us of our sin. We rejected His Son---though it was all part of the soverign plan, it is still a painful thought.
I put Christ on the Cross. You put Christ on the Cross. He still loves us. We need only call on him, and seek his forgiveness, purchased by His Blood, for you and for me.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
The Game of ...wait...How do we play this again?
We've all been there... |
This past Christmas when we visited Mexico, I got another opportunity to experience the fun of Triopoly. Now, before anyone decides I've gone crazy and forgotten how to spell, allow me to elaborate.
Triopoly is a three-tiered monopoly style game. In it, to buy and own all the properties, you must often travel to multiple tiers to get the full set. To travel to another tier, you either draw a card that tells you to, or land on the elevator space. All in All, pretty exciting...after all...who doesn't need Monopoly X 3 in Time to play and Fun!
If you liked how long it took to finish a game of Monopoly, then you'll LOVE the equivalent of 3 Monopoly games in one! |
My first exposure was a few years back. Juliet's family owned the game and her brother Julian, sister Dulce, Dulce's boyfriend Gary, Juliet and I sat down for a rousing game of Triopoly. Being new to the country and language, I was determined not to let them speaking Spanish during play keep me from winning. It is a U.S. Based game after all. I quickly learned phrases to recognize when my turn was up and practiced my Spanish counting to the point where I'm pretty sure we played the majority of it in Spanish---save for negotiations. And this is where it got interesting.
You see, I have always been aware that no two families play board games the same. I had expected to basically follow standard monopoly style rules of trading and making deals for property. Then I was introduced to what I will call "no-rules-trading." According to Juliet's family rules for this game, trades can occur any time, under any circumstance for any amount of property or money. If I feel like Juliet is losing, I can slip her $1000 under the table to keep her in the game. If I want to get a small piece of property to complete my set, I may as well end up trading my chances of winning for it.
Another rule which I hated the first two years was that if you land on someone's property and they forget to make you pay, you get away for free. Being someone who zones out occasionally during extended Spanish speaking conversations, I found my mind wandering often. I stopped making that mistake the first time Julian or one of them landed on my property with a "Skyscraper" (Like a hotel) and I lost out on $500 + for not reminding them to pay me. Screaming "Pagame" became my trademark among them. Another sometimes beneficial, oftentimes irritating trade deal was allowing the individual you trade with to get multiple free landings on your property. In the beginning it seems nice because you get what you want in exchange for them getting 5 free chances of landing there without paying. Then the game winds down and you find out that by giving Julian an unlimited pass to never pay if he lands on my Dallas property, and then realizing my only valuable property is Dallas, and we are two of three left in the game...well let's just say I kicked myself for that one.
So Triopoly in Mexico is the most extreme case, but there are plenty of other games with which I have experienced frustrating rule variations.
In my family during a game of Monopoly, if you landed on "Go" you got double the money. At another friend's house, I am handed $200 wondering where the other $200 is since I was relying on it for a future purchase. And so it goes.
We used to play dominoes a lot never truly knowing the real rules. I finally sat down with a guy from work a few months back who played dominoes by the real rules and was so confused I couldn't finish the game--he destroyed me.
Board games are fun and everything, but they can be equally stressful when adapting to new rules, if you are competitive like me. If Triopoly has taught me anything, it's that just because a new rule seems fun at first, doesn't always mean it will benefit you the entire game. In many cases it will be your demise. And then the obligatory kicking yourself for bad playing decisions.
Of course after a good night's sleep you will be all the more willing to take on the challenge again. And someday, maybe someday...I will beat Julian and Gary at Triopoly.... Wait, what was my point again?
Someday Julian, I will stay up late enough to beat you |
The confused look hides a master plan to beat me at this game |
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Facebook Friendship and How to Maintain It
The phone makes a familiar sound. It is a sound most have come to know by this point. Someone reaches for the phone and notices the message, "Johnny Johnnerson has added you as a friend." He thinks to himself, "do I even know Johnny Johnnerson?" He clicks accept. They are now Facebook friends.
Facebook has become a dominating force in society as a whole since the initial creation back in the early 2000s. It has brought families back together who had not seen each other in many years. It has helped develop relationships with people we may have only known in passing. And, on the darker side, it has destroyed countless friendships. Facebook is making it much easier to realize how little we have in common with many of our friends. There is a new aspect of judgment that comes into play as well. Close friends begin posting about their lives and what goes on, and we suddenly think, "who is this person?" "I don't remember them being like that." What actions are appropriate when this situation arises? Maintaining friendship, un-subscribing to news feeds and un-friending are the most popular options, but each carries with it both positive and negative results.
Facebook friends may not always be equal to real life friendships. Perhaps this is why so much of the time we base many of our impressions of a person on their Facebook status, and not on who they really are. Sure a status update can often tell a number of things about a person. One may find out their political leanings, religious convictions, family troubles, or just what they decided to eat for dinner that night. To some, this new aspect of intimacy may have been absent from their friendship outside of Facebook. For example, maybe there is a close friend with whom one shares all of their closest thoughts. Maybe the friendship has gone on long enough that both parties feel they have a decent grasp on what that person is about. Then one day, friend #1 posts a status about hating the current president. Friend # 2 thinks, "Hmm...I assumed since we both liked ____, that we both supported the same guy..." And so begins an unspoken political battle filled with passive aggressive comments and mutual status updates. Both parties know to whom the other is speaking, but neither will acknowledge what is going on between them. An uncomfortable Facebook friendship translates into the real life friendship. This is a hard situation to avoid as many people finally open up completely when they know the world is hanging on their every word. Facebook lends an aspect of arrogance to many who may have not previously been as open about true thoughts and leanings.
Now that real life friendships have been initially tested, Facebook offers another option for when someone really doesn't want to hear what their friends have to say. Unlike reality where occasionally one may have to endure awkward conversations in person, Facebook makes it simple to simply not see a person's posts. This is interesting considering one of the primary purposes of Facebook is to keep up with friends life through status updates. By unsubscribing a Facebook friend, the message becomes, "I still like you enough to have you as a friend, but not enough to care what you have to say." And this is an ongoing dilemma. FarmVille game application may have initiated it to an extent, but now everyone knows how simple it is to block information. Effectively Facebook allows users to become censors of mindsets and views that clash with their own. Passive aggressive behavior ensues and real life friendships suffer. In a way, it would almost appear to be kinder to simply delete the individual as a Facebook friend, and have a real life discussion about why their posts are a burden. Maybe this is the direction it is headed.
Up to this point, two friends have decided to add each other on Facebook. Friend #1 decides that they do not appreciate everything that Friend #2 posts, and unsubscribes from Friend #2's newsfeed. It can happen over long periods of time, or occasionally right after adding someone. There are in some situations legitimate reasons to unsubscribe from a newsfeed. Actual offensive content comes to mind. For example, Friend # 2 constantly posts racist jokes and foul language on their statuses. Friend # 1 does not appreciate having to view that content constantly. Friend #1 may legitimately unsubscribe and not feel bad because in this case, friend # 2 is being obscene. However, this should not always apply to a difference of beliefs. There is nothing wrong with standing up for deeply held convictions, and to those who hold different views, acceptance of this should be a requirement of friendship. In real life, if two friends don't like the same president, they can joke and have fun with it. On Facebook, the same two friends are constantly trying to one up each other with a better political article trying to prove their point. Neither ever talk directly to each other. It is passive aggressiveness at its finest, and as soon as one of them realizes what is happening, it can sometimes come off as very hurtful.
When Facebook friendship reaches this boiling point, it is time to un-friend. Some would argue that un-friending is worse than un-subscribing newsfeeds, but maybe it is not when one really analyzes the consequences. If friend #1 unsubscribes from friend #2's posts, but friend #2 still subscribes to friend #1's posts, friend #2 may not realize there is a problem. Translate that to real life friendship and it would seem to be the equivalent to having an issue with one's friends but never actually admitting there is an issue. Playing along as if nothing is wrong when in reality, there are negative feelings happening on the inside. When played out in real life, friendships are destroyed. Part of a friendship is always being open and honest with the other member. Similar to romantic involvement, if both parties are not open about thoughts and feelings, true friendship cannot occur, and slowly over time, the friendship dissolves.
In addition, lack of mutual interests can be a real life circumstance that dissolves friendships over time. This can technically be avoided by consistently sharing new thoughts and interests with the other party. Should they continue to not be interested, shift focus to some common ground. If all else fails, talk about the fact that both parties are humans currently living on Earth--there is shared ground there.
If friend #1 finally cannot stand it anymore and deletes Friend #2 on Facebook, Friend #2 will eventually realize. Sometimes it can take time, other times it becomes obvious when they cannot view the funny story Friend #1 posted to all their mutual friends who were not deleted. Now the problem is in the open, and if at its heart a true friendship exists, they can begin a phone or in person dialogue to work out the problem. At its heart, this is the best approach. Mutual honesty brought about by a conflict. Seeking to revitalize dying friendships that may have many years behind them. Two friends will not always see eye-to-eye on every single aspect of life. This is part of the magic of knowing other people. Rather than living in one's own bubble, surrounded only by like belief systems, different world perspectives can manifest. This is not always comfortable for everyone, but it is a part of shared existence.
Facebook provides an outlet for emotion, opinion and interaction that can sometimes irritate those considered close friends. Much like reality, there cannot always exist a conflict-free friendship. There are bumps in the road. As friends mature and grow, they may not always agree on everything. Rather than throwing away friendships through the internet, individuals need to strive to connect with those friends with whom they are consistently annoyed. Open discussion leads to resolution, or at worst, mutual tolerance. Facebook friends are not wholly incompatible with real friends, but different aspects of the friendship need to be addressed. Before adding someone as a friend on Facebook, find out why it is they should be added. Is there some message you desire to passively get across in their news feed? Perhaps it is better not to add them. Are you an optimistic person with strong beliefs that may occasionally step on the toes of friends? Talk to those who are being added and let them know that occasionally they may not like what is posted, but that it is not meant for wrong.
In a country where freedom of speech is had by all, Facebook is an outlet for people to express their deepest beliefs, or if nothing else, the extent to which their homemade hamburgers were delicious last night. Isn't that what this country is all about?
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