A Lack of Spiritual Focus

2012 was my year of true spiritual discipline and study. It seems to have gradually fallen away into the background more and more since then.

I was telling Juliet that I always seem to do things in phases. I'll have a video game phase for 6 months or so where my main point of excitement is from games. Or, I might have a songwriting phase, where most of my free time is invested in writing and performing.

My concern, as I expressed to her, was that spiritual discipline was becoming just another of my phases of which I drift in and out. Understandably, this is not an ideal spot in which to be for one claiming to follow Christ.

Now, I will say that I have not floundered my core belief. I still do my best to lead worship at Amen Austin on Saturdays when I am in town and able. Yet, I feel deep down, the hunger for God's word, and even for studying things of a theological nature has been waning more in the past couple of years. It seems I always hit a spiritual high point, some instance or activity that really tells me I'm headed the right way, and then somehow, it just derails.

For example, sometime back in 2012 (+ or - 1 year for lack of exact memory), I was really studying theology. I had even planned out a book that I was going to begin writing. I had a chance to co-lead a seminar with my pastor friend, and overall, most of my free time was dedicated to studying the Bible and theological resources. And, it was my desire to do so. I had an unquenchable hunger to dig deeper into the faith which I claimed. I wanted to know why I believe what I believe. I wanted, as Peter said, to be able to give an answer as to the hope I have (1 Peter 3:15).

Then, maybe a week after helping with the seminar, the interest began to fade. It was still there, but it became more gradually replaced with other interests and activities.

As things stand right now, I have my areas of interest and focus split, and unfortunately, theological study has become less of a priority.

I don't believe that having other actives and interests is inherently a bad thing. The time I am investing currently into music for example, is time spent investing in one of my God-given talents. I think there is a purpose within it which has yet to be revealed. So, my focus there continues. It is also something about which I am passionate. And, since I do still try my best to lead music at Amen Austin on Saturdays, investing in musical performance and skill helps on that front. The more disciplined I become practicing and honing my craft, the better it will be for both the secular and spiritual environments in which I find myself.

Part of my loss of focus spiritually came last year (or was it 2 years ago) around this time when I stopped working on the overnight shift, and my days off got swapped around. Instead of having a Saturday/Sunday off schedule, I ended up having to work a day shift with no Sundays off. This prevented us from attending our home church in Leander, where I was receiving a lot of good teaching that was helping me to keep focused on my study.

Thankfully, I was able to lead music for Pastor Matt's church on Saturdays and still maintain some spiritual focus.

My work shift is changing yet again in two weeks, and now I will be off Friday/Saturday, but work 3pm-midnight Sunday-Thurs. The benefit will be having Sunday mornings free again for our home church. The biggest drawback is that the open mic nights in which I have become so invested, are all on weekday nights, and I will now be working.

So, I can't help but wonder from a Spiritual perspective, if this shift in time slots is to allow more focus on church and spiritual discipline. I've invested more time playing music and performing in the past two months with open mic nights than  I have dedicated to any sort of spiritual study in the past year.

As Christians, are we supposed to dedicate every waking hour to spiritual discipline and study? Or, are some set apart with that gifting, while others manifest their faith through other means?

I don't know that I have an answer. Honestly, I don't know that in terms of writing I've even dedicated enough focus lately for this post to have a point. I look back on some previous posts when I was really dedicated to writing, and they seem a lot more thought out than the more recent ones.

Maybe I'm just over-analyzing small things again. I think the opportunity for a Sunday service again, and the chance to maybe book some Friday night gigs in the upcoming weeks though some of the great people I've met during the open mic nights will allow for plenty of balance.

I'm sure the other Christian brothers and sisters around me could stand to invest a bit more time in the faith, just as I could. There are so many distractions and activities in this world to eat up our time. Some days I wish I was retired already so I could invest my days in reading and studying and growing. But, that type of thinking is probably more excuse than anything.

With a work shift starting at 3pm, I should have enough time to dedicate to God, exercise and anything else I'm looking to accomplish. Here's hoping for a better balance going forward.

A Musical Adventure

I'm not sure at what point I stopped writing here, but it wasn't fully intentional. Much has been happening in the past month, and honestly I haven't really thought of anything particularly special to write.

But, in the interest of consistency, I wanted to take some time and put down a few thoughts. This one may not have much of a theme, but hopefully will kick things off again.

When we first moved to Austin in 2009, I had been playing music pretty consistently in Oklahoma. My band, "The Huntsmen," was playing cover songs at a few gigs here and there. At the time, I also loved just sitting out on a street corner singing. There was a confidence there, that seemed to disappear after leaving Oklahoma.

Austin, being the live music capital of the world (their words), intimidated me musically. In Oklahoma, my harmonica/singing/guitar simultaneously was a treat for some, as it wasn't as common. In Austin, everyone sings and plays guitar, and many add in the harmonica for good measure. Or, this is what I had as my perception.

So, I attempted one time to sit downtown on a corner playing, and it went decently enough, but didn't quite have that feel that doing it in Oklahoma had. From that point, it became more of a hassle to motivate and stretch myself to do that.

I wrote a lot in Austin. Some of my newer songs (many not recored) were written in Austin. I did most things at home, and didn't venture out musically. There is a coffee shop next door to the plasma center where we used to work that hosts an open mic night every Thursday, and I didn't once try to make it out and play.


Fast forward to this past week.

With Juliet still in Mexico this month, and feeling like there was nothing to do, I ventured out in Round Rock (north of Austin where we reside now) to a bar that listed an open mic night that evening. I didn't know what to expect, but something kept pushing me to just be confident again, and play. I arrived way too early, but spoke with the musicians of the house band, and they said once their set was over, they would begin the open mic portion. They insisted; however, that they back the acts. I usually do acoustic/singing/harmonica, and haven't had a band behind me since the Huntsmen, so this was an interesting curve.

As I listened to the group, I became aware that their musical style was similar to a lot of the more upbeat cover songs I used to do, so I mentally adjusted my playlist and got ready to perform. I told them what key we would be in, and tossed a few familiar song names at them, and we began. And, it went quite well.

Afterwards, I met a man named RJ, who goes from bar to bar in Round Rock listening to live music. He began to educate me on the best places to listen/play music in the Round Rock/North Austin area. A professional bar hopper, he had some good insight.

So, per his advice, I got off work the next Monday (on a work night) and rushed over to another local joint to sign up for their open mic. The first person I saw walking in was RJ, which made me laugh, but was also somewhat comforting, as he had enjoyed my set that Thursday before. I signed up and ended up playing sometime around 9pm (though I arrived closer to 7:45pm). This locale had quite a few talented musicians, and was basically booked solid for the open mic list. It filled up fast, and each musician got 3 songs to make sure we didn't go over the 10pm stop time.

Inspired by another round of applause for my performance, and some great compliments, I realized this is what I need to be doing when I am able. I don't know that I'll ever be a fully fledged gigging musician, but I'm remembering now that I do have some measure of talent, and can typically entertain a crowd. The rush on stage is much more exciting than sitting at home burning through a selection of Redbox movies (I used all my free codes anyway).

Last night (Wednesday) I tested another venue out for open mic. This was probably the oddity of the bunch, but as the night wore on, I realized I actually liked it.

I signed up way too early here, having been wary of waiting too long due to the long list at Monday night's venue. Due to early signup, I was asked to kick things off (which I did not particularly want to do). The MC for the night said take about 20 minutes (which was also unexpected). I had planned for 3-4 songs, and ended up needing about 5-6 when it was said and done.

On top of that, the crowd was literally (in the correct, unexaggerated sense) just the other musicians waiting to play. There were no patrons at the time I went on stage, just the open mic musicians, one bartender and the MC. It was a slow looking night. (I suppose my use of "literally" up there isn't quite correct as the bartender is not a musician-forgive me my grammatical stretch).

Before I got up, and older gentleman, "Overdue Bill," had approached me and was talking about all of the open mic venues he frequented. Bill is 88 years young, and his wife of 66 "tours" with him as he goes around Texas and other areas playing songs from his songbook. The songbook was thick and heavy as he has collected probably all of the older tunes out there into his repertoire.

My set went fine, despite a malfunctioning cord, and a PA in need of some care. I experimented more with the crowd and song choice as it was only the other musicians watching. Bill got up after me, put his chair on the stage, music stand and giant binder. As he began to strum, I got chills.

Bill was not particularly great at guitar or singing (which he admitted prior to playing), but this same type of love for singing reminded me of Mema (my mom's mom who has passed). Bill, made me think back to her days running her Gospel Singing Barn, when anyone who wanted to sing for the LORD could get up on stage and go. Even Mema didn't have the greatest voice in the world, but she had a passion for people and for singing. Bill reminded me of this. When his final song choice was "Old Rugged Cross," I felt great peace come over me. Bill later said that his two songs that earn him the biggest tips are "Old Rugged Cross," and "How Great Thou Art," despite the crowd being a bar crowd. That makes me wonder if deep down we all feel a connection to God brought about by those beautiful tunes. Or, perhaps people were humoring him.

I heard the MC talking about how he always tries to limit Bill because his style doesn't mesh as well with the others, which honestly frustrated me a bit. To compensate, I went up to Bill's wife and started telling her how much I was enjoying his playing, and how it reminded me of my grandma singing years ago. She was a nice lady, and told a few good stories about how Bill began to be the 88 year old open mic performer (she had talent but stage fright- bill wasn't afraid of stage despite not having a great talent - his words- I thought he was great).

I started talking to some of the other acts as they finished, and realized that even in this venue with nearly no one to watch, there was a nice camaraderie among the musicians. I met Phillip from Houston and Mark who had come from Boulder, CO and was just visiting open mics around town for something to do.

I came home refreshed, but exhausted (I Had worked my normal 10 hour work day prior to this). Today, as I reflect back, I'm anxious to get out and try more open mic venues. My music on reverberation website has put me at #11 locally in the singer-songwriter category (though according to online sources, this doesn't mean much). Locally, is also "Round Rock" in this case, which does not have quite as much competition as the Austin market. Still, it's nice to see that by posting a few songs, and shows, my rank moves up as more people listen and like it.

Today, I plan to frequent at least 1, if not 2 open mic in town to keep the flow going. I figure I can just become the open mic regular eventually, and build a fan base from that. I'd love a solo acoustic gig at some point at a bar or restaurant. At home, I continue playing with my songs, and using my iPad to record backing instrumentation to fill them out. The newest one, "Julie," was finished this time last week.


For more of my musical ventures visit me over at http://www.reverbnation.com/chrisbyersband or http://www.facebook.com/chrisbyersband

For booking around Austin/Round Rock, email at byers.chris@gmail.com


I like this opportunity to get out there and just have some fun performing again. My muscle memory and skills didn't leave me completely (Though I forgot a lot of my cover songs and will need to relearn them).

Hopefully, Ill have some more writing inspiration as I experience more than just sitting at home (Though I plan to do that from time-to-time still as well). Stay tuned, and thanks for reading/listening.

CHRIS

Obligatory New Year's Blog

I've noticed many people are posting that 2014 was a rough year for them. Honestly, this was one of the better, or at least more consistently favorable years for us. 

Actually, until 12/17/2014, a day that will live in infamy (when our precious Puggy went missing), it was going quite well.

After Puggy's disappearance, my mom lost all her hearing in one ear, and a good bit of it in the other. To my knowledge it still has not returned.

My heart is still heavy going into 2015 because of those two things. I desperately wish Puggy would come waltzing up to the door here in Mexico, or that someone would call to deliver him back before the clock strikes midnight. I wish as well as everyone rings in the new year, my mom's hearing would come ringing back to her.

As I write this, I just received a text from our pastor friend:

"I declare and release God's manifested presence, power  and goodness over your life and loved one's in 2015.  Start this year by taking time tonight to dedicate yourself to God in prayer and worship. Thank Him for your 2014 blessings  and by faith declare all the Promises of God over your life.  You are loved! Supernatural blessings.  Pastor Matt"

This lifts my spirits a bit. One thing we must always remember, in good times and bad, is to be thankful. 

Looking back at this year, there is much for which to be thankful.

Juliet and I took steps to allow her to begin working with the ministry in Mexico. We downsized and moved to the RV, and in the midst discovered we can survive on my income. This frees up Juliet to do what she loves, and makes me happy that it's possible.

She may come back to the states a bit this year to work somewhere she enjoys while we hit our debt hard, but the goal will be a potentially life changing move to work towards both using our gifts with the Manos Juntas ministry in Mexico.

I am thankful to have had family in Austin, and that despite their move back to Oklahoma, more family has now moved to Austin. Can never get enough family!

Even in the loss of my mom's hearing (hopefully temporarily) and Puggy's disappearance, I still must thank God for His provision.

Even if Puggy does not come back, or my mom continues to have partial hearing, we must always give God thanks. 

Our purpose in this life, no matter how often we try to hide it with less fruitful endeavors, is to give God the glory. We were created for fellowship with him, and our following of Christ is a large step back towards the intended relationship.

To paraphrase, we are aliens in this world. We see but a glimpse of God's good intentions for us in this life. It must be our joy to be thankful in good times and bad, to grieve, but not as those without hope.

It is often overused, but Jeremiah is correct when he writes,

"I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper not to harm, to give you hope..." (Jeremiah 29:11)

The context of that verse was a time of tribulation much worse than anything we are currently experiencing. And yet, God speaks comfort to us through his prophet.

I've been less Spiritually involved this year (due in part to initially being unable to attend church consistently due to work), and I do want to get my focus back in 2015.

Not due to a misplaced negotiating tactic with God in which I focus on Him more and He then blesses us more. God will bless whom he blesses and put through trial those he loves that they may grow stronger in their walk.

For now, we must be thankful for the 6 wonderful years we had with Puggy. My mom, despite what I imagine is a huge feeling not to, must give thanks even in the midst of her hearing loss. For in all things, there is a purpose. 

We may not know why Puggy remains missing, or why my mom can't hear, but as we enter 2015, I pray we will remain joyful and thankful for all the things these past years with which God has blessed us.