It's always interesting to reflect on a year. Sometimes not much changes, or nothing memorable happens. But, we can all agree 2020 has been different. In big ways for many people including me.
There have been some highlights, but also some low points. For perspective, I think it's important to look back and have gratitude for the good of the year, while still acknowledging that it wasn't always easy.
Obviously, the biggest loss this year was my mom's passing in June. But, prior to June, we had some good times. We visited Colorado in late Feb/Early March and stayed in the RV with her and Joe. It was a great visit, and one of the last times she got to fully hang out with her favorite granddaughter.
In March, Juliet and Hannah made a visit to Mexico, and Hannah really bonded more with her Mexican cousins. Despite not knowing one another's languages, they still played and had fun.
While they were there, I went to Cashion for a sending off of my mom to her cancer treatment at MD Anderson. Though the reason for gathering was somber, it still morphed into a pretty fun LaFave gathering. Not quite Christmas Eve level, but still got to see everyone.
I picked up Juliet and Hannah just before the border closed due to Covid, making a last minute run during the work week with special time off to ensure they didn't get stuck on the Mexico side. Once they were safely stateside, we gathered in Ada with mom and Joe for a visit before they went back to Colorado.
It's hard to think about, but that was the last time we saw her in person. Hannah FaceTimed her frequently during the Covid heyday between April-June, since we knew with her cancer an in person visit would be ill advised. Her immune system was compromised and Covid was on the rampage.
At the time, we still had our "Quarantine buddies" who had taken the same precautions as us, so Hannah got to have some play time with Emerie, and we had some get togethers with Andy and Erica to keep us from going crazy stuck at home.
Life was different, but thankfully not a huge change in the day to day since I already worked from home. I actually excelled at work, and joined a few special projects this year, which have opened new doors and connections within work.
My mom suddenly had a heart attack from low potassium and other factors brought about by her cancer and chemo, and though we held out some hope while she was in the ICU a few days in medical coma, we eventually had to let her go.
It's been the hardest loss I've faced, and knowing how close she was to Hannah, and that "grammy" wouldn't be with us anymore on this side of heaven really tears me up.
I had 34 great years with her, and Hannah got some joy-filled years for sure. Grammy always spent the most of her time with Hannah whenever she visited. She came about once a month or more until she got cancer. I know she wanted to still ignore that and come anyway, but tried to take it easier due to her health. In hindsight, maybe a risky visit to see her just one more time would have been worth it, if we knew we would lose her so soon.
I'm grateful that we had all said we loved one another, and that the day she passed was one of the first days she felt truly good from her chemo. It seems bad that on the first day she felt normal she'd be taken away from us, but perhaps after such a struggle, it made sense that she left us in a happier state than she'd been in the weeks prior.
We held a memorial based on her wishes and just managed to get it done before Covid really ramped up. We required masks for anyone attending, and thankfully everyone obliged. She would have wanted that. With modern technology we were able to livestream it as well, which helped for those who loved her, but couldn't attend.
The summer months blended together as I mostly worked, and hung out at home with Hannah and Juliet. We started walking daily for awhile which was a nice way to get out of the house safely, and get some exercise. We need to get back into the swing of it, but the colder weather had put a brief stop to it.
In October, the Colorado folks spread mom's ashes at her and Joe's land in Westcliff. It was her favorite place on earth, so we know that would have meant a lot. I didn't attend due to Covid having picked up and travel being ill advised. But, for me, the memorial service we held in June with her family/friends gathered together was more important for my own closure.
October bled into November and I celebrated my 35th birthday. It was quite nice, despite working that day. My coworkers acknowledged it, and even sang Happy Birthday to me via a virtual meeting while I blew out candles on my traditional birthday pancakes. We visited my Dad and Kristen in Norman the next day for a birthday celebration, and then left Hannah to spend a day or so with Nana and Poppie. She got homesick after one day, but it was still nice to have a single day just Juliet and me to play Halo and hang out. We missed Hannah too though, as quarantine life has made us basically a 24/7 together family.
Thanksgiving plans were to visit Nana and Poppie in Norman again, but we decided to hold off just to have some buffer time between my birthday and Christmas for quarantining and Covid precautions. My younger brother Michael had an opportunity to direct a movie, and they did some of the shooting for that in Arkansas around that time. I know he's excited about that opportunity. Maybe I'll have a famous director brother someday!
Earlier this month, we also had a very nice surprise and won a contest in town for local shopping. We've been visiting Charlotte's on Main in Ada to buy toys and things for a few months here and there. She participated and was giving out tickets for the drawing with purchases. Out of probably 10,000 tickets, our number was drawn.
We won $10,000! It's split in $5000 cash/check and $5000 to spend locally at select shops as "Santa Bucks". I feel like Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber" trying to convince the stores that "These are just as good as cash, these are IOUs" (Makes me laugh each time.)
I've tried to give a bit out of it when I can, buying a meal for someone if I'm using them to get food, or paying for someone's shopping if they're behind me in line. It was such an unexpected blessing, and I want to practice what I preach and let blessings flow from us and out to others. Though, we'll still spend on ourselves as well.
It was a year of catching up financially for Juliet and me, and we're very thankful that after 13 years of marriage we finally have some breathing room. My mom had left behind enough life insurance for us to pay off our debt, which was a goal she always had for us while alive. I'd rather have her and be buried in debt, but if we had to lose her, the ability to pay it off and get a fresh start was a wonderful final gift from her. I know she was happy to set that up for the kids and Joe, so we'd be okay when she passed.
I worked Christmas Eve then left at 4pm when I got off to go to Norman. We had some take out for Christmas Eve dinner and did a zoom call with Kristen's sister and family who normally gather with us in person for Christmas Eve. It was fitting for a year when many things happened virtually. I don't consider it a bad thing, just different. And sometimes different can be fun.
Trying to get Hannah to sleep knowing Santa would be coming overnight proved difficult, but she finally dozed off around midnight. She woke us all up around 5:30am and we began opening the presents that Santa had left (along with his footprints and some half eaten cookies and milk).
Hannah was hilarious opening her gifts because she did it so slowly and meticulously, trying not to tear the wrapping, and making sure she put it all in the trash each time. I've never seen pure joy and excitement like I did when she began opening her gifts from Santa, and from us. It was magical. I guess as a kid I was probably that way a few times too, but never really realized it. Seeing it on my own daughter was special, and a highlight of the year for sure.
I got a few cool gifts from family as well, including a Hot Sauce Making kit that comes with gloves and warning labels. No doubt I'll be cooking up some spice (safely I hope) in no time! I got some beef jerky samples, and a Kalimba instrument- which I'm currently trying to learn to play better. Very pretty sounding, just need to up my skills.
It was truly a great Christmas in the midst of what has been a year with high highs and low lows.
I try not to measure years by single events, but I'm sure 2020 will be remembered as the year mom died. But, it's also the year we won $10,000 in a drawing. It's the year we missed spending time with family as often as we'd have liked. But, it's also a year that I excelled at work and got to try some new roles. So, there has been good with the bad for sure.
I don't want to black list the entire year, as we've still had smiles and happy times. Thankfully, as of this writing, our immediate family has also managed to stay safe from contracting Covid. A pattern I hope remains until we can get our vaccines.
I will admit I've been disappointed not being able to lead music at the Wesley or even attend our home church physically this year. It was just too risky with the Covid things, despite the fact that some folks still take the chance. I miss that interaction for sure, so hopefully as 2021 rolls around, we can find some safe ways to get back to normal with our church family and with playing music for the Wesley.
In the meantime, Juliet, Hannah, and I continue entertaining one another and enjoying the family time that comes with being home together all the time.
Another positive to come soon is that my book will finally release. After having to swap publishers due to the first one closing with Covid, it's finally in the final stage before going up for sale. I'll need some help getting 5 star reviews on Amazon to promote it once it's out, so hopefully it's good enough that a few people who read it can offer that. It's been a 4-5 year work in progress, and I'll be thankful to finally share it with the world. Stay tuned for updates on that via my "Chris Byers Author" page on FaceBook and other social media sites coming up.
I know this year has hit others harder than me. I pray that they get some relief as well. I have to keep remembering that I wrote about going through hard times in my book, and should take my own advice in the midst of them. I hope that I've matured in my walk with Christ this year, despite some setbacks.
I tend to go into each new year with high hopes, and I think that's best. I'll put 2020 behind me, reminiscing I'm sure on the good and the bad at times. But, every day is new, and I want to continue moving forward for sure. I try to take comfort in the fact that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, so even as life throws ups and downs to us here, we can rest that His love and grace for us never changes. That He will guide us into each new year, helping us through the trials, and celebrating with us during the good times.
I suppose my prayer this year, as it is deep down each year, is that my family and friends who do not know Christ would come to have that relationship. I pray God will put whomever in their path that they need to reach that point. I pray even my book could have some impact, though certainly that's in God's hands as well.
And with that, I say goodbye to 2020, and hello to 2021. Happy New Year!
